


Two's Company Four's A Crowd

by EllaBellaBumble



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, College, Daddy Issues, Dom/sub, Dominant Kylo Ren, Exhibitionism, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Smut, Foursome - F/M/M/M, GeekyShenanigans, Multi, Oral Sex, Reader-Insert, Rough Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, TooManySexTagsToConsider, Triple Penetration, Triplets, Workplace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-11-23 09:32:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11399841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaBellaBumble/pseuds/EllaBellaBumble
Summary: This is my version of the Organa-Solo's Triplet's AU - it's a work in progress but I really hope you like the adventure, it's more of a slice of life kind of story. I think the title explains it all!





	1. Matt

It was a particularly warm afternoon in September and you'd taken off two of the three layers you'd worn to work that day. You knew your co-worker, Janet, liked the room to feel sub-tropical but on a day like today you really didn't need the radiators on. You combed back your fringe with your fingers and turned on your fan: it was becoming unbearable.

Usually by now someone had complained but the office was pretty much empty today and there were only a few members from each department holding the fort.

"Oh um great," you chirped up tapping your fingers on your desk. Your computer had just crashed for the third time today and you couldn't figure out why. You'd fiddled with the wires, turned it off and on again, the usual spiel even the IT guys complied to.

"Computer gone again or have you finally succumb to the heat," your boss half chuckled.

You cringed hoping Janet hadn't seen you put on your fan too, but after a quick peak over the divider you noticed she'd popped out.

"Haha no," you relaxed, "well yes I guess so shall we turn it down? Think she's melted my pc too," you smiled at him and regarded his response.

"Well why not go see Bill, we might be missing something. Oh and while you're at it please turn the thermostat down," he smiled.

You'd always liked John he'd looked after you from the off. You'd started with the company as an apprentice and grown up with them. John had nurtured you to become a great accountant, even more so than Janet. She was twice you age but you felt like her years didn't count for much other than experience, as on several occasion she'd asked you questions you wouldn't dare say out loud, for the fear of being fired over how stupid they sounded.

You were quite fond of days like today because you could bear Janet and her climate if John was around to keep you sane and make you laugh. John had great stories, you admired him because he'd started from the bottom like yourself and worked hard to get to where he was now. However he had a holiday home in France that he liked to go to fairly often with his wife and dog, it only meant you having to suffer her heiress in the corner opposite you on your own and her conversation was something you suffered through daily.

You'd been quite sure if she told you any more stories about her cat Mr Bagels, or how her eldest most darling daughter had called it that because she'd loved bagels, you'd want to stuff the thing: which was strange because you actually really loved cats.

You made your way to the dial and turned it to nineteen, giving a nod to your boss as you walked over to the lift. You pressed the button heart fluttering,  _Bill's floor was number five and that meant..._

The door pinged open and to your joy no one was in it. You walked through the threshold and pressed five.

 _He'll be there...the hot one,_  you thought as the thrumming of each passing floor soothed your beating heart.

You didn't know his name, just that he tended to finish work at five most days and seen as you were contracted to a thirty five hour week and weren't keen on staying any past four if you didn't take a lunch you rarely saw him. Though sometimes, if Janet had been especially condescending, you liked to wait just to share a lift ride with him. Just to play the game of how much could you stare at him and guess his age before it becomes weird. So far you'd settled on mid-twenties which was great news because you didn't consider him too old or likewise too young for yourself to fantasise over.

The lift began to slow and you held your breath, "Fifth floor" it hummed as she opened her doors for you, you walked to the spot where Bill sat eyes flickering over the floor. It looked as empty as yours, but the conventions were getting bigger and bigger every year and more people chose to take part or left to be involved. You kept walking past the cubicles eyes down so you wouldn't make a fool of yourself.

You reached his desk, quite nearly bumping into it, "oh umm, shit..." you breathed so only you heard, or so you thought.

"Can I help you Miss?" You turned to face your saviour only to lock eyes with him. He was as gorgeous as you remembered, chocolate brown eyes and golden curls dancing on his head. He was wearing his glasses, like always, the ones you decided were too big for his face as he kept pushing them up his nose so they wouldn't fall off.

"Miss?" He said again but his voice was like velvet, not even the slightest bit of impatience to your staring habits he'd surely grown weary of by now.

"Oh I um..." you fumbled over Bill's desk trying to get closer to him. You tripped over some wires and him and his co-worker whose name you also didn't yet know half chuckled, you straightened out your skirt and took off your glasses tucking them into you shirt. When you wore them outside using the computer things tended to be a whole lot closer than they actually were and you often felt disoriented.

You made it to his desk and looked over the divider, "yes I needed to speak to Bill my pc is having issues. I guess he's at the convention?"

"Yeah!" The larger less well presented male shouted stuffing something into his mouth, you couldn't see from the angle but it smelled sweet.

"Oh I'll get going then..." you sighed walked away slightly your heart as fast as the wings of a humming bird, convinced if you left now, you'd at least leave with your dignity.

"Nonsense I can help," your knight in shining armour replied and you was glad to see it wasn't the Doughnut Guy as you'd so aptly called him in the corner.

You knew he was a developer so you knew he was pretty smart and you had to be good with computers and code for that matter you surmised as you walked round his desk again.

You couldn't help notice his collection of comics neatly piled on top of it, "hey cool you like comics?" you burst out feeling super embarrassed for doing so.

You shied away under your hair trying to conceal your pink cheeks as the man stood up a good foot and a half taller than you, "actually yeah I do-".

Doughnut Guy then chirped up, half the sugary snack still being chewed as he talked, "he tries not to read them while he's working," the rotund man masticated but didn't turn to face you.

You forced a small laugh before awkwardly turning to the lift and trying not to trip up on the way, by the time you reached the lift and got in he'd already pressed the third floor button, "accounts department right?"

"Oh yes sorry I should have probably said" you smiled.

"It's okay I recognised you. Where are my manors? I'm Matt" he said outstretching a hand.

"____," you smiled taking it to shake, only thinking about if he'd notice how sweaty your palms were because you were finally talking to him and now you knew his name.

"So what comics have you read?" He asked as the lift announced you'd reached the third floor.

"Well I'm not a big fan of DC but I like Marvel. To be honest I prefer Manga I'm a total geek..." you admitted feeling really comfortable with him as you led him to your desk. You made it to you seat, "that's okay I like geeky" he winked.

Your heart stopped you tried not to squirm under his intense stare, you couldn't cope with the winking it was your one weakness in a guy.

You cleared your throat, "oh thank God for that," you chuckled.

You looked around, no John or Janet: sighing in relief realising how embarrassing you were being.

"I've tried the usual technique," you admitted watching him fiddle with the wires.

"Turning it off and on again?" He smiled his cheeks turning pink because you'd briefly caught him staring at you.

"Yep", you swallowed the lump in your throat as he pushed up his glasses again and returned to his diagnostic.

"I don't think it's anything too serious, it might just be your fan. If you block it with things like paper work it tends to not enjoy the heat," he smirked gesturing to your very untidy desk. It wasn't in your nature to be untidy at home but to keep your desk at work tidy would be a miracle.

"It's Janet, she likes to flood my desk with unnecessary paper," you admitted taking the paper that was stacked around your laptop and piling it further away.

"I find that it's the older ones, they're not used to technology" he said and you had started to realise how geeky he was too.

"Yeah and it's terrible for the environment," you sighed rolling your eyes.

As you were returning back to your desk chair at the side of him he picked up your laptop and turned it over, "umm yeah you're definitely working it too hard," he said motioning for you to feel it.

"I blame Janet," you grumbled. Your distaste for her evident from your tone.

He smiled putting it back on top of the desk and pressing the on button, "Fancy getting a coffee? Have you even had a break today?"

You didn't know how to respond. You'd forgotten English, you felt in that moment you could speak better Japanese.

_Say yes idiot._

"I'm not a massive coffee fan, err I like tea..." you tried to sound normal but you were one hundred percent sure by now he knew how much you fancied him.

"Sure. I never see you around it seems to be only when you're leaving," he said nervously looking rather taken aback you'd agreed to join him in the canteen on the ground floor.

"I am also busy putting through receipts for more servers you developers so love to buy" you joked trying to relax you both.

"I'll tell Bill to lay off then," he smirked.

As you were walking to the lift you saw John returning from also getting coffee, "everything alright ____?"

"Yeah Bill is at the convention so Matt helped. We are going for a drink, do you want anything fetching?" you said averting your eyes from him. You knew he'd catch on to the fact you liked Matt, you never left your desk for no one.

"No I am good thanks," he sniggered.


	2. Ben

You’d made it to home time, but it had been a long day after you’d parted ways with Matt in the kitchen. He made an excellent cup of tea and you’d agreed to take him up on the offer if he happened to ask you ever again. You’d really enjoyed his company and despite your earlier judgements on him he wasn’t much like you’d expected.

You’d found he was actually a lot like you in terms of his interests and was an all-round really nice guy, which, part of you wanted to think he might have been even a little too nice. Despite him starting up your conversation originally you could tell he was quite shy, but you didn’t really mind, you tended to be reserved also.

You put your glasses in their case, pulled your headphones from around your neck and placed them both into your desk drawer, before locking it. You stood up and stretched your arms, looking over at Janet, “I’ll see you Monday then Janet, have a nice weekend.” John had already left a few hours ago to see to some personal matters and you’d really missed his morale support, making your day stretch even longer.

“Yep you too ____ have a nice day at college tomorrow,” she said monotonously still hammering away at her keyboard like a wind up robot that wouldn’t wind down.

You smiled pulling on your jacket and placing your jumper in your bag, you also pocketed your keys and walked for the lift, pressing ground floor when you entered, but it felt empty without Matt.

Once you were out of the building you located your car, finding the antenna in the crowd easily as it was adorned with a Mickey Mouse head from your last visit to the Disney Store. You got in the car the stereo startling you as it blared out, you turned it down a notch before fastening your seatbelt and starting the engine, turning the music up when you’d become accustomed to the noise.

At this time you very rarely got stuck in traffic but you felt as though you’d been pinned at these particular lights for a life time, so much so you and the motorbike next to you were having a revving up competition on who would get through the light quicker when they changed green. As they flashed to amber you started your acceleration but he was long gone and then cut you up.

“Tosser,” you grunted under your breath.

You finally made it home and parked up in your apartment building designated car space, locking it and proceeding up the stairs, dying for some substantial food and a drink when you finally made it in.

You rolled over to the ominous empty space taunting you in your double bed and sighed, using the balls of your hands to push into your eyes. After you'd sufficiently cleared the sleep you pulled back the duvet skirting the room for your dressing gown. The box standard magnolia walls gleaming brightly despite it clearly being grim outside.

"Typical showers" you said out loud, since moving out, you’d become rather accustomed to talking to yourself on a regular basis.

Eventually you located your dressing gown you slid it on, the fluffy grey material a welcome warmth to the brisk cold air circulating the room outside of your duvet cocoon. Next to locate and secure was your phone which was less of an easy task as you were forever falling asleep with it under the duvet. Once you rubbed your hands blindly under there a few times without finding it you walked into the kitchen noticing this time you'd actually left it to charge.

"Let's see no miss calls, no emails...oh a text" you opened it half hoping it was from someone other than your mum.

Hi Sweetheart, how you getting on? Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow? Xx

Sure Mum I'd love to, everything is good at my end. Xx

You sent the message a twinge of loneliness trying to find its way in, but you dismissed it checking the time.

9.33

"Time for breakfast," you exclaimed putting water in the kettle and switching it on

By half ten you were dressed, fed and ready for your day. It was a college study day today, so you were in no rush to get in, most of the people at your college were kids and you didn't really socialise with anyone out of your class.

You grabbed your car keys, your handbag and your books and left for the hell hole.

"____ are you okay with everything we've done today?" Luke asked, he was your teacher and you were asked to call them by their name.

"Yes think I'm okay thanks Luke, see you next week!" You ducked your head out of class and headed down to the lifts saying your farewells to other classmates.

As you were fumbling with your notes you found yourself bumping into someone despite the corridor being particularly empty, "shit" you cursed.

"Sorry was my fault," he said his voice sounded familiar. It was deep and dripping with confidence which hardly surprised you most students here were a little full of themselves if they were doing courses straight out of school.

"No it's okay it was mine," you said standing up straight and gathering your notes into a pile to put in your bag.

You looked up to the man in front of you, who was a bit taller than you, with brown wavy hair and dark brown eyes.

"Say don't I know you?" you gawked at him, he seemed closer to your age than the other people meandering through the corridor around you both.

"Oh yeah you're the girl!" he chimed.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, "um sorry I don't follow 'the girl'" you repeated giving up and shoving your notes in your backpack.

"Ha oh yeah you wouldn't have been able to see me. I was the motorbike guy that you thought you could out race yesterday in that old car of yours," he winked and you grounded your feet to will them not to turn into jelly.

You thought he might be as hot as Matt and that was saying something in your books.

"So you're the tosser that cut me off" you said more sassy than you'd intended.

"Um well..." he fumbled.

"It's okay I didn't die, suppose that makes it alright?" You teased him smirking when he finally sensed your sarcasm.

The air hung silent for a while and you really wished it hadn’t because silence made you stare and staring made you blush. He looked so familiar but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

"Accounts? Isn't that for maths geniuses?" He smiled noticing the book you were still clutching and snapping you from your daze.

"Not exactly," you said desperately wanting him to keep up the conversation.

"To be honest it wasn't a lack of thought you couldn't do it, it was more how someone as reasonably sophisticated as yourself was in a place like this..." he lowered his voice as a boy sauntered down the corridor eyeing you up before shouting to a friend very loudly at the other end about how he'd skipped and wanted to go to McDonalds.

You looked from him back to the man you'd bumped into and sighed, "Reasonably yes," you laughed, "so what are you doing here then?"

"I'm here to pick up my Mum she's the superintendent. She usually gets the bus home because of the rush hour traffic but I finished work early so told her I'd pick her up on my way,” he said a little too well rehearsed.

"Oh yes I understand," you smiled pushing some hair behind your ear.

"Hey I know this is a little I mean..." he rubbed the back of his neck the confidence he'd had earlier failing him, "maybe you'd like to exchange numbers? I'm Ben I'm glad you bumped into me."

"You want...my..." you relayed your train or thought out loud before realising, "yeah sure of course err...here" you tore some paper from your pad and scribbled it down, "I'm ____ by the way."

"Hmm…" he murmured as though it rang a bell.

At that moment Luke walked out of the classroom, "oh ____ you still here?"

"No I was just getting off, see you next week and nice meeting you Ben," you beamed at him before scurrying down the corridor body alight with adrenaline.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello...
> 
> ~update~ currently in the process of changing the timing of this story to September. I find it easier to write in the months we are in honestly don't ask me why. Apologies if bits seem out of place. 
> 
> Hope you are enjoying my story this far, as for the first couple of chapters I will be updating them weekly on either a Tuesday or Wednesday.
> 
> If you have any suggestions you want reader to encounter with the triplets, drop me a comment/message and I might incorporate it.
> 
> Thanks for your support my friends, 
> 
> Els x


	3. Boyfriend

 

"So ____ you got a boyfriend yet or what?" Your mum asked setting your plate of food in front of you, roast chicken with roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, vegetables and gravy.

"This looks good" you avoided, exchanging awkward glances with your brother and dad who'd also got their plates in front of them, "there is this one guy...well umm."

"Wow you actually managed to get one guy ____ I'm impressed," your brother snickered and your mum chided him slightly.

"Not like you've got a girlfriend Joel!" You snapped taking a bite of your food.

"Go on ____ love," your mum said practically sitting on top of your lap as she shuffled closer to you.

"Well there's this guy from work Matt, I just really like him, but then yesterday I bumped into this other one at college and he asked for my number..." you smirked at your brother who'd gone rather quiet.

"Oh that's great news ____. So what have you talked about?" your Mum smiled taking a mouthful of chicken.

"Umm...he well he hasn't text yet..."

Joel was fighting back laughter and your mum looked like she wanted to kick him.

"He's probably just busy or something love," she suggested grabbing your wrist.

"What about the other guy, the one at work" Joel asked and you thought he might have felt a bit guilty. He was quite a bit younger than you and was still living with your mum and dad so you didn't really mind his childishness.

"I'm working on him" you chuckled digging into your food.

 

 

 

 

It was Sunday now and you had spent most of the day camped out on the sofa watching television and eating snacks, your friend Sarah joining in on the feast. You and her had been talking most of the day away but you'd just put on your favourite movie on when it: happened.

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and moved your greasy hand from the tortilla chips down into the fluffy black jogging bottoms to find it.

Hey, look I am really sorry I didn't text straight away, had a bit of a family feud and hadn't had chance to send one. Don't think I've forgotten about you. I really want to take you out, even if it's just for coffee, I'd love to get to know you? Ben x

"Oh my god Sarah, pause it!" you screeched pulling your knees up to your chest.

"It's him isn't it, it's Ben" she said sharing the same beaming smile you had.

"Yes, it's, oh god, what do I say?" you said your hands beginning to quake a little.

"Calm down, calm down, what does it say?" she asked giddily as you showed her the screen.

She examined it , "well first of all you bloody say yes!"

"But what about Matt?" you heart sank a little, you really liked him but you couldn't expect miracles to happen you'd only really spoke the once.

"Are you nuts, you can have both!" she laughed.

"Sarah!" you shouted in disapproval before jabbing her in the ribs slightly.

"Alright fine, work on them both and we'll have to see which one you end up getting," she said nonchalantly as if she thought either of them would really be that bothered about you.

You sighed slumping down slightly, it had been so long since your last boyfriend and you were sure you'd never have one again at this rate. It wasn't an unknown fact that men just didn't seem to have to time of day to give you.

"Don't do that ____ I know what you're thinking. You meet Ben and you show him what you're really like, he wouldn't be asking you out-Or for that matter asking for your number if he didn't fancy you a bit..." she said as she snatched the phone from you, "right when are you free?"

"Sarah!" you shouted pulling it back and starting a draft but she just laughed at you.

Hey Ben, I am really glad you text- Sarah was reading over your shoulder which you allowed if only for morale support, "what do you think too needy?"

"No I think that's okay, you don't want to scare him off!" she said.

Hey Ben, I am really glad you text. Here's me thinking you'd gotten yourself into a serious bike related accident. Coffee would be great, should we meet in town? You finished signing it off with your name and sent it.

"Whoa ____!" Sarah said right in your ear, you jumped up in protest.

"Ow, what?"

"You didn't put a kiss!"

"Shit yeah you're right, he's going to think I am not interested" you panicked, but it was short lived when your phone vibrated once more.

You really think I am that bad? I'll have to take you for a ride, show you how safe I am. Town sounds great I get off work at five tomorrow I can be in town for half past at the fountains if you want?

"See look he didn't put a kiss this time, you've upset him!" Sarah scolded poking you in the ribs.

That sounds great I'll see you then Xx

"Better?!" you asked her showing her your reply.

"See now you look needy" she joked and played the movie once more.

"Okay okay...you look fine...lovely...it's all fine," you squinted at your reflection in the groggy bathroom mirror at work. You'd finished at four so you could spend the last hour mentally prepping yourself for your meeting with him, you'd decided to leave your car at home and catch the bus in as it just made things easier. You were a nervous wreck on dates, a nervous wreck that didn't need to be trying to drive a car. You took one last look at yourself before putting your makeup away, you were sporting a casual black shirt dress with black tights and boots, it was raining again and you didn't fancy getting cold feet figuratively or literally.

As you left the bathroom you noticed the time, "oh shit I'm going to be late..."

"Hey ____ how's that computer of yours doing?" you swivelled round to see Matt lent up against the kitchen sink in the canteen.

"Oh Matt, yeah it's great...look I really got to go I'm meeting someone," you spoke at a hundred miles per hour and was fumbling with the strap of your hand bag.

"You know you didn't have to put all that makeup on to impress him," he smiled and then regretted speaking his mind.

"Well...I...how do you know I'm meeting a guy?" You stuttered finally getting hold of the handle so you could lug it over your shoulder.

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone so flustered," he admitted turning a little red.

"Thanks for the compliment Matty I really wish you were right but hey-ho," you said grabbing your bus pass in between your teeth, so you could untwist your bag strap for the eighth time.

"Do you want a ride?" He said noticing the document in between your lips and staring for much longer than you were comfortable with.

"Um well as much as I'd love that Matty I really don't think it would be appropriate turning up to a date with another hot guy..." You said without thinking your soul focus on making it through the front door of the office in the next three seconds or so.

He turned deathly silent and his skin went bright red as did yours when you'd realised what you'd said, clearing your throat you made a dart for the door, "I'll see you around" you shouted as you mentally rebuked yourself.

The bus journey was actually a quick one in rush hour and it gave you time to think of your plan of action to never have to bump into Matt again. You decided migrating to Australia was your only option and in the same matter you wouldn't have to go on a date with Ben and make a fool of yourself there either. You pressed the bell in front of you and stood up to queue behind others departing the bus at your stop, you quickly thanked the driver who looked like he was prepared to drive the bus into a brick wall if it meant he didn't have to work ever again. The rain had subsided somewhat but it certainly wasn't something you'd walk through without your umbrella.

"He said I didn't need make up was that a...compliment?" you mumbled to yourself you couldn't think about Matt right now you were meeting Ben.

As you swept through the crowds stood at the bus stop you made it to the fountains in the city centre, the water looked grey pouring from the marble spouts as it reflected the ominous sky above and you scanned the area for Ben trying not to look too out of place, you checked your watch. On reflection you were five minutes early. You wished to find a bench that wasn't wet but the scene in front of you didn't look very promising. Trees drooped from their pounding they'd received during the day, looking like they really needed a break from the drowning they'd had to endure the past few days. Your eyes kept flitting over the landscape looking at people running from building to building to avoid the downpour.

"He's not coming..." You sighed feeling your self-doubt sink in as it usually did.

Then your eye stole a glance of a familiar face under the alcove of a nearby building, this was it you had to do this, you couldn't put off dating people anymore. You urged your feet to make their way to him but they were being stubborn, you took a deep breath daring to go a little further and after the foot of movement you managed you were on your way to a very wet looking Ben.

"Hey Ben," you called over as you approached his safe heaven.

"____, I just text you," he smiled standing up a little taller to make you believe the rain wasn't phasing him.

"I didn't have my phone out. How was work?" You prattled on nervously.

"It was work," he admitted.  _Great_  you thought this was going to be harder than you'd anticipated. You liked to plan conversations in your head, with Matt it had come naturally he liked the same things you did and he was sweet, _a little too sweet perhaps_ you agreed with yourself. Yet even though you'd spoken to him a few times, of which equated to about thirty minutes, he was so easy to follow for you: you felt at home with him.

_Don't write Ben off_

"How about you?" He asked and you could tell he was in a foul mood, something was bothering him and now to you seemed a perfect time as any.

"It was work," you mirrored hoping it might ease the scowl on his face, "hey Ben are you okay?"

He shuck his shoulders to ease them up as they'd seized under his thought process, "yeah I'm sorry I'm sorry ____ it's just my brother, me and him don't really get on."

Despite Ben's lack of enthusiasm the sentence had given you a focal point and you'd cling onto its lifeline like it had saved you from near death. The plot had thickened leaving your brain to accumulate several questions you could ask him without losing the conversation and it being awkward.

"I don't know about you Ben but I'm not loving your little hidey hole, how about I take you to my favourite coffee place? And you can tell me more on the way?" a flame of confidence was lit at the pit of your stomach and you felt compelled to keep it. As you set the pace and Ben followed you offered him under your umbrella but he shuck his head.

"Let me take it, it might be more sensible," he smiled the first time since seeing you and you revelled in it reflecting the look back to him, which only made his grow wider.

He was right, you holding the umbrella would have been quite the challenge for Ben to stay close considering the height difference, with him holding it at least you both kept dry.

"So what about your brother then?" You pushed trying not to make him uncomfortable.

"He's just always so childish you know?" Ben said staring at a spot far in the distance.

"Yeah my brother is the same he's younger than me, quite a lot I saw him at the weekend and all he does is stir and tease, couldn't say I don't love him though Ben" you admitted hoping it would make him relate.

"I suppose you're right, but he's my age and he just asks like a dick," he said clearly feeling more relaxed.

You laughed a little at the remark, "hey look Ben I thought you were a dick when I first met you but look at me now."

He hooked his arm in his pocket leaving a hole that you could take if you wanted. You contemplated the offer to fill the gap between you but settled on the fact you barely knew the guy.

"So let's forget about your brother then, if he's such a dick. Why not tell me what you do for a living?" you suggested bumping into him slightly as you turned to take another path down a less busy street.

"Well I'm actually an engineer," he smirked.

"Oh you must be good at math right?" you joked guiding him up some small steps to a large glass door. Half the room was a bookstore and half was a cafe.

"Hmm very good none of this one plus one equals three stuff you dodgy accounts get up to," he said taking the umbrella down and you opened the door for you both to enter.

"Oh I know this place my brother loves it here" Ben chirped up seeming a lot happier about the subject.

"We can go somewhere else if you like?" You offered not wanting him to feel intolerable.

"Here is fine and I was referring to my other brother" he smiled and you'd be sure to ask how many more siblings he was hiding from you.

Once you'd ordered your coffees and found a remote table by the window you took off your coat and bag in hopes for a good evening. The waitress brought over your drinks, yours was a latte the top adorned with a leaf shape from how she'd poured your milk, you took the rim of the cup to your lips and sucked in a breath the smell almost as good as the taste as you knew well by now. You sipped some of the foam from the top the bitter taste quick to coat your tongue: a refreshing burst of energy.

"I'm so glad Monday is over," you breathed melancholy.

"Me too I work longer hours the rest of the week though," he said stretching his arms.

"What does being an engineer comprise of?" You smirked taking another sip of the elixir.

"That all depends on if you want to fall asleep or not?" You laughed at him finally feeling the night might go somewhere.

"Try me?" You cooed cuddling up to the table to get closer to him.

As Ben talked at you about mechanics you couldn't register a thing, too overcome by his sheer passion for the topic. Passion, was your biggest turn on, if I a guy could talk about his pebble collection as exuberantly as Ben was right now you'd be sure it would at least sound interesting.

You talked for good few hours about work and studies. You found above anything else Ben was a total tease and if not just that then he was a stereotypical "manly man". Cars, oil, biking, late nights with his brothers gaming, the lack of an ability to be seen as empathetic in anyway, but it wasn't something that necessarily put you off him – you thought it was perhaps a facade.

You'd made it down three cups of coffee and had ordered food while you were there but you noticed it was getting late and no doubt the antsy waitress wanted rid of you soon. You ducked into your coat pocket for your phone, the first time you'd looked at it that evening, "as much as I don't want to Ben I think I should be getting off, I've got to catch the bus because I left my car at home. Oh and it has nothing to do with the hurtful comments you said about her the other day," you joked finding the Twitter page for your bus route you needed.

"I can take you home if you want baby?" He said and watched your blush pursue your face soon afterwards.

"You've come in the car?" You said hiding behind your hair now.

"Nope..." he smiled awaiting your response.

Your eyes widened, "are you serious?"

Your heart was beating like it had before meeting him, you'd never rode on the back of a bike before and you knew his bad habits. He was watching you contently staring at your features he'd enjoyed tonight as much as you had and he wanted to make it his goal to steal a kiss.

He rolled his eyes grabbing your hand that was scrolling through your phone and your heart beat stopped, "I'll drive you home safely" he winked and you forced yourself to look out of the window. It had stopped raining and you really were contemplating it, the thought of it exhilarating you.

"Okay fine," you said looking at him slyly from behind your hair wishing he'd call you baby again, it was working wonders on your ego.

"Come on then," he said rising and you followed his lead.

By the time you'd made it to the place he'd parked his bike you'd forgotten all about Matt and you'd started to realise Sarah's advice had been the best you'd taken for a long time. Already having told him your address and explaining the best route to take.

"So Ben, I've never erm been on a bike before," you said wanting to just catch the bus again.

"This just gets better and better" he said taking a spare helmet and helping it onto your head. He mounted the vehicle and told you to get on also once you were seated you crossed your arms over your chest afraid Ben would catch them shaking.

"It's not my fault I haven't hung with a rebel before," you rolled your eyes but he couldn't see you to protest.

"A rebel? Really? Would I rebel have brought a second helmet just in case things went well tonight?" he laughed putting the key in its slot.

"Hold on to me tight okay?" he said starting the engine the vibrations starting a unholy feeling in the pit of your stomach, you felt as though Ben could sense your thoughts as he revved the bike to make the vibrations worse on you and you gladly hid your face in his back grabbing him tightly. Your fingers gripped his abdomen and you felt his muscles tense, it made your heart flutter but you didn't have time to dawn on it as he manoeuvred his death trap from its space.

That nervous energy was bubbling in your chest as he reached the main road and picked up speed you felt as though you were going at one hundred miles per hour, he'd stressed he'd drive safe considering you didn't have leathers but neither did he assuring you, you weren't going far and the roads would be pretty much empty. You wanted to scream put your hands up like you were on a rollercoaster, but instead you grabbed tighter as he turned the corner. You were convinced you would have to learn to ride desperately wanting to be up front and it control, despite at no point feeling unsafe.

The vibrations were still pulsing through you however drowned out by the sounds of the engine and other cars and the wind tearing at your clothes. It was over far too soon and Ben pulled into your apartment car park slowing down to a halt. He switched off the engine and jumped off to help you down pulling his helmet off as you did yours. You were so giddy you didn't really know what to say.

"I take it you liked that baby?" He cooed backing you against a neighbouring wall.

"Ben it was amazi-" but before you could finish he'd pinned you and starting working his lips against yours, you obliged him despite your gut telling you it was too soon. You were full of lust your hands finding his hair to play with his curls as he parted your lips with his tongue and you let him in. The kiss was soft but demanding like he'd planned this outcome all along. Invigorated you tugged on his hair as you finally found the rhythm with his tongue sometimes clashing teeth when you lost concentration. You didn't want him to stop: the sensation felt amazing. He bit your bottom lip before pulling away a little out of breath as were you.

"Well umm I guess that means I get a second date?" you said goofily trying not to stare.

"Of course," he winked and you smiled at him contemplating with yourself whether you should let him in but you felt it would be best to leave it at a snog on the first date and not push your boundaries much further.

"I'll text you"

"I had a lovely night ____ I'll be waiting for it," and after those words he mounted the death trap and rode for home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see. Not sure how you guys feel about this story so far (I love writing it, but want you guys to love reading it) - it would be great to hear your opinions on whether I should continue? Thanks for all your support <3


	4. More

This was your third date with Ben it had been two weeks since your first one but you felt the need to see him twice during the first week, you'd been particularly busy this week and only finally had the chance to meet him when you finally had the chance to talk to Matt for longer than half an hour.

"Hey ___ are you off out?" Matt said catching you on your lunch break considering you weren't meeting Ben until later tonight. The sun was shining again and you'd managed to find a more summery dress that was appropriate you had thigh highs on for a little bit of added warmth and your most treasured Dr Martin's.

"Oh Matty hey, yeah I was just going to the sandwich shop." You'd both chosen to ignore your comment of him being hot or perhaps you'd just tried to blank it from memory.

"Well me too, might I join you?" he asked turning a little shy, likely he hadn't forgot, he hadn't had many girls call him hot before especially ones he considered to be beautiful.

"Of course Matty," you smiled feeling elated you were one second closer to meeting Ben again. He'd decided to take you out for alcohol and insisted it was his treat which you were very grateful for. You had however assured him you weren't a great drinker and you got tipsy after a few too little, but he'd just laughed and said you'd be a cheap date.

As you were day dreaming of Ben, Matt had started talking and you hadn't been listening, "are you okay there ___?"

"Sorry Matty I just was day dreaming..."

"Is it that guy again?" he seemed sad like you were cheating on him and you felt a twinge of guilt too you'd called him hot he was bound to have the wrong idea.

"Oh yeah but go on what were you saying?" You smiled trying not to make him feel awkward but he'd completely lost eye contact with you.

"I wanted to know if you like gaming?"

"Oh come on you're asking the anime nerd if she likes gaming, of course I do. I love it. I have a PS4 but I tend to only like linear games I prefer the story."

"Oh really? I wouldn't have put you down to it ____. You know this weekend me and my brothers are planning to have a gaming night you should come." He swallowed loudly that's not what he wanted to say it was way too forward but you made him nervous he just wanted to spend more time with you, "I mean if you wanted to ___ you could just drop me a text on the day it wouldn't matter I mean I didn't...it wasn't my intention to sound forward..."

You butted in quickly before he had an aneurysm, "Matty that would be lovely, I'd have to let you know though. Depends how much I drink tonight, how about I give you my number?" You asked feeling really guilty at least this way it wouldn't hurt his feelings

"Oh yeah great. You know ____ you're the only person who calls me that," he said handing you his phone to put the number in.

"Sorry I have a tendency to give people I like nicknames. It's like my subconscious brain telling me you're okay in her books," You laughed handing it back to him.

_Huh I don't have one for Ben_

You reached the sandwich place and decided to sit outside the sun beating down on the grass around you making it feel almost like summer time. You could hear someone close mowing the grass and the smell of it made you smile. Happy memories of playing with the dry mounds of it in the playground as a kid, building grass thrones and getting back to class looking like a grass monster, your Mum never did approve of the stains on your white polo's.

"So what games do you play Matty?" You asked taking a bite of your sandwich the light was glinting off his hair and dancing across his face, showing you his freckles you'd not noticed before. He was still as handsome as the days you'd stared at him in the lift, if not more so now you knew how sweet he was.

"I like MOBA games," he admitted quickly turning bashful.

"Oh you're one of them kind," You laughed feeling just as diffident under his eyes.

"Well I just like being online and away from my brothers constant bickering," he said rolling his eyes and taking a bite of his sandwich, "____ I really like your outfit today....but that's not to say I don't always like them its just-" he cut himself short pushing his glasses back up his nose before they fell off.

"Oh thanks Matt!" you smiled hiding behind your hair.

"Your hair wasn't always that colour was it?" he asked now looking at you more intently a reflection of how you'd been staring at him before.

"No, this is my natural colour," you tried to avoid his gaze feeling a little awkward and somewhat losing your appetite.

"It suits you better this way," he admitted and you'd put your sandwich back into the wrapper feeling the intensity of his stare creep up all sides. He was so sweet and charming and he liked the things you did, you were in the right mind to take him up on his offer tomorrow evening just in case operation Ben didn't pull through.

You continued talking about gaming and once he'd stopped staring at you, you'd finally felt relaxed enough to finish eating.

This wasn't fair he was making you have butterflies like he used to; something about his mannerisms so familiar yet so different, you couldn't quite put your finger on it - as though you'd known him for weeks - not hours.

On your walk back to your office you kept brushing up against Matt's side so much so he'd put his arm around your shoulders playfully.

_Ben never did that..._

You felt so at ease with Matt.

A bile rose in your stomach conflict overbearing your emotions, "you okay ___?" He asked noticing your sudden quietness.

"Oh yeah," you smiled shrugging his hold on your shoulders, "just nerves for tonight."

"Stop worrying about it ___ if this guy doesn't snatch you then it's his loss," he smiled reassuringly holding the office door open for you.

"Thanks Matty, text me your number okay?" You asked him nipping to the toilet down there before you headed back up.

The night was late and the sky was pitch black, you'd had way too much to drink and you couldn't begin to describe your address to a taxi driver. You'd not lived there long, as though that made it okay to forget.

You stepped onto the pavement unaware of the time, bouncers were darted about the street in different clubs and bars. Their faces the epitome of indignation as they perused the street for any inebriated people that might be pushing their luck.

You imagine stumbling over the curb to cross the road to hail a taxi, you may have been just the sort they'd be sure to turn anyway. Your thoughts led to your hand reaching for Ben's finding comfort in his protection from their staring watchful eyes.

"What even time is it?" You mumbled not really noticing that your words were a little out of order.

Ben hadn't looked as worse for wear as you but he was certainly drunk you'd made sure of it you couldn't let yourself get drunk without him being on board and he was. You felt like a teenager again and you weren't sure if you liked it or not, everything was hazy.

"Its the early hours of the morning baby, let's get you home," he smiled that you'd taken his hand without some kind of cajolery for once.

He looked handsome tonight, tight black jeans and a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. You'd agreed to forget about Matt as soon as you'd seen him so suave and the first hour spent arguing to at least split the cost of drinks. He'd finally agreed after giving you a snog in front of everyone for payment, you weren't into public displays of affection but everyone else in the club was tongue deep in someone else anyway.

"Do you want to come back to mine Ben?" You smiled biting your lips. He led you on all night and you desperately needed some alone time with him.

"I thought you'd never ask," he growled in your ear nibbling at your lobe. It sent a wave of pleasure straight to your core and you willed it to keep at bay, this was only your third date, you reminded it in hopes it would help: it didn't.

Ben hailed a cab and you were glad he'd given your address to the taxi driver, who seemed mostly unaware of your snogging fest in the back seat. Your brain was so intoxicated you couldn't control its desires despite you knew you'd regret them in the morning. Your hand made its way down his chest and locked onto its target Ben's growing desire quite evident to you now as you rubbed away at his hardening cock. He groaned but stopped your hand by taking hold of it, "slow down baby girl we're not back at yours just yet," there was a lustful glint in his eyes that just made you want to take him in the back seat of the taxi like most porn movies started, but you pushed your urges further down and turned to face the window.

As every tree flew by the blurring of your vision died down slightly and your mind became less tightly wired your thoughts gaining coherency.

The taxi pulled up and Ben paid him before you started to drag him into the apartment block and up the stairs, you fumbled until you reached your door thanking the gods you'd not lost your key in the random dance contest you'd had with some other random girl, who you wouldn't remember tomorrow. You opened the door and Ben pinned you to the wall harshly as he greedily took your lips, he didn't stop for breath and you were raking your fingers through his hair.

You could feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, a text at this time?

It was far from important you thought, moving your hand down his chest to his belt buckle wanting for him to just fuck you already, you'd waited all night. That was the alcohol talking. You grabbed him by his belt loops and pulled him into your bedroom pushing him onto the bed, your head was swimming and you could barely stand straight, the room spinning.

Ben was growing impatient of your wandering thoughts and pushed you back on the bed, taking his belt in his own hands and loosening it. You don't think you'd ever seen anyone take off a belt so quickly you regarded watching his actions intently. He was making a show of it for you and you felt your panties losing their integrity. You blushed as he zipped his fly down and he revealed his needy cock. It was already fully hard as you had suspected, you'd been teasing each other all night.

"What's wrong babe, enjoying the view?" He cooed as you willed your cheeks to stay their normal colour.

You bit your lip waiting feverishly for his next move, he roughly grabbed your waist and started at your skirt while you fumbled with his shirt. Once he was fully naked you were left in your top and bra waiting for him to make short work of them; tossing them into the pile with the rest of his.

Once you were stripped of everything your head began to throb, you were really going to do this? On the third date? You couldn't stop your over thinking but tried to force it down by looking at how well-endowed Ben actually was, stroking it in between his large hands and it still looked larger than you'd had before. You took a deep breath in noticing your phone had fell onto the bed its front screen now dark again, remembering the text you'd received at four in the morning. A pit of doubt fell into your mind, what if it was family what if your mum was ill. The alcohol clouded your thoughts poisoning them as they descended back down into the pit of your stomach.

You desperately needed a top up of the liquid confidence you'd been drinking all night,  _no I can do this I like Ben._  You swallowed the last breath you could remember taking that night, "how do you want me Ben?" You purred. Trying to forget how naked you were in front of a man you'd spent hardly enough time with.

Ben didn't answer only pulled you up by your arms and twisted you around so your face was squashed into your colourful bed sheet that now hurt your eyes, "Ben!" you squeaked as he thrust himself into your dripping wet cunt.

"Shit ____ you're so wet for me."

"Ben..." You mewled trying to adjust to him, he felt amazing, nothing quite like you'd ever had and from this angle he was stretching you to the hilt.

"Fuck" he managed as he began his pace.

The doubt in your stomach fizzled out and you finally let yourself relax and enjoy him. His pace was rough and hasty you could tell now he had not lost his intoxication like you had. You felt the knot in your stomach building it had been so long since you'd be given pleasure like this, you wanted to stay strong and not cum too quickly: to revel in the feelings he was supplying, but he was pounding your cervix mercilessly.

You let your moans drown in the layers of fabric beneath you about to close your eyes and give in when your phone lit up again a few inches from your face you caught a glimpse of the text as it relayed on the screen.

Sorry to keep texting. I had a really nice day today, if it doesn't work out tonight I'm sure I could make it up to you. Matty x

He was desperate he wanted nothing but happiness for you, you weren't just a hole to be fucked on the third date; he considered you a friend: he cared.

The knot in your stomach wound tighter and you nearly lost control tipping over the edge, Ben was close too, his movements getting sloppy.

"Ben stop!" your first pleas muffled by the fabric.

"Please Ben," he heard you this time, reluctantly halting his thrusts panting. His face was angry waiting for you to explain but you couldn't string together your response. You turned to face him, you must have looked as though you were about to cry, your body shaking from the denial of his release, his cock springing up from being forced out of you. He had clenched his fists the veins on his cock pulsing as though fighting the effort to ram back into you against your will and find his own release.

"Did I hurt you or something?" he snapped his face contorting to keep his cool.

"No Ben it's just there's someone-" you said not really a hundred percent in control of your words. The alcohol was clouding your thinking.

"You tell me this now!" he shouted and it resonated through the walls: quite positive your neighbours could hear.

"No it's not like that Ben that's not what I-"

"So you're either fucking them or you're seeing them either way you let this happen?" his entire body had flushed red and you willed your throat to produce a less truthful reason for your stoppages.

"No it's just we've barely-" Ben had stopped listening he was shoving his legs into the holes of his trousers fumbling about as he grabbed his shirt and tossed it over his head.

"You fucking whore," he snapped as though he knew exactly what it was to be one. The words hurt so much you had to choke back tears you were anything but a whore. How could he say something so harsh, you barely knew one another, that was the problem here.

"Ben please it's not like that I haven't slept with anyone, it's not-" you broke down tears escaping your eyes faster than you could hold them back, cries escaping your throat before you could anchor them back down at the well of your stomach. Ben was too far gone there was no convincing him you wanted to redeem yourself you didn't want to be painted with that black tar, you were not a whore.

Before you could will your body into action to grab him by the wrist, plead him to stay he'd left, the only remnant of him actually being there was the wet patch between your legs and staring at its centre on the duvet made your stomach lurch. Your head spun as you staggered to find your bathroom the only hint of light coming through the frosted glass window which joined the outdoor corridor which led to others houses. You gripped either side of the bowl catching a glimpse of your reflection before you released all the bile you'd kept swallowing, every doubt you'd pushed deep down for a fuck, maybe you were a whore.

The tears flooded your system once more and you curled up against your bathroom wall the cold tiles underneath your naked skin a reminder you hadn't yet passed out, but before you could lift your body to get into the shower: you gave in.


	5. Games

  
Your eyes peeled back: a dull ache pounding against your skull. You don’t know when or how but your body had found its way back to bed, your brain still not having found its way out of the club. You winced at the thought, pretty sure you wouldn't be seeing Ben any time soon. You checked the clock on your phone it read twelve and there were three messages. You couldn't face reading them yet the thought of seeing Matt’s kindness once more sending guilt into your stomach where it had made a cave for itself.

You could spend the day wallowing in self-pity or you could wise up and get your sheets in the wash. You got up too fast for your head to cope and sat in bed making an agreement with yourself you wouldn't look at your face until you washed. After your head came back into reality you stood grabbing your clothes from the floor, they were the first to go in the washer, followed by the bed sheets you stripped without looking at them. You couldn’t bear to stare into that mark you'd made.

Whore.

Ben's words rattled around in your skull and you swallowed a sigh.

“Don't do it to yourself,” you said giving yourself the reassurance you needed.

You put the detergent in and the fabric softener and set the machine going the sound of it humming to life a blissful noise that filled the room with the promise of a blank slate. You stretched upwards a waft of the detergent making you light-headed and your stomach nauseous. You moved across the hall and switched the fan on for the shower you needed, the thought of its premise a blissful awakening to your still half asleep brain. Once you’d waited for the temperature to reach an appropriate climate you stepped in the water immediately ridding you of your sins.

After spending a good ten minutes with your head under the stream you finally decided to grab the soap and start to lather away the bad vibes for good. It was done, over, time to move forward. You'd agreed with yourself. The little mantra pulling you from your funk. After your hair was sufficiently cleansed of any last dregs of vomit that had melded ends of your it together you turned off the shower and stepped out onto the plush bath mat, it’s individual stands dancing between your toes. You grabbed your towel you’d kindly warmed for yourself on the radiator and began to dry your body peaking a look of yourself in the mirror and somewhat smiling at what looked back. This was you, no makeup, no third date sex you...

“Stop!” you growled at yourself rubbing the water from your legs a little more viciously than you intended to, “done over time to move forward.”

You got dressed into some casual clothes and kept your hair in your towel to let it dry naturally finally picking up the courage to read the texts.

Firstly was Matt’s original text it was a short text that explained this was his number and an apology for it being so late, or early you thought. The second was the one that had stopped Ben cumming inside you and the third was a text from Sarah.

Hey sis, guessing from the lack of a text it either went really good or really bad? Xxxxx

You dialled the number and she answered in a menacingly awake voice, “Hello?”

“Really bad,” you sighed trying not to start up the water works again.

“Oh god. Come on what happened?” She said her voice soaked in sympathy and you already felt better.

“Well it was a great night, we had too much to drink. I took him back to mine we fucked we didn’t I cried, threw up and somehow managed to put myself to bed after passing out.”

“Okay, okay slow down rewind...” she said trying to take all of your self-pity in.

“Well he came back to mine and we started to have...” you pushed not wanting to have to say it again, “you know...”

“Have sex,” she sighed “on the third date?”

“Look I know and well I was drunk it seemed like a good idea for a while…”

“A while?”

“I got a text from Matt, I freaked out and I had to tell him to stop...” she didn’t reply as she wanted you to finish the whole story, “but then I also told him it was because of someone else and I'd not meant to leave that part in, it just came out. He was fuming and I thought he might throttle me or something, he called me a” you went deathly silent not even Sarah’s lack of speech could keep you talking now, you couldn’t say that word to her.

“Called you a, what ___?” she pushed knowing you really didn’t want to say.

You held in the tears trying not to let them escape but one rolled down your cheek before you bit the bullet and told her, “a whore.”

“That son of a bitch, good riddance! I mean yeah I get him being mad especially if you'd started it but he barely knew you!” she seethed her hatred for him as real as your own.

“Yeah” you managed before a long silence passed over the phone, “I guess that was half the problem. He didn’t know me well and I decided it was cool to go ahead and let him fuck me. And now, now there is the Matt problem.”

“I don’t see how Matt is a problem. If anything he’s the solution, you clearly like him to stop a guy mid-fuck,” she said a hint of laughter in her voice but you couldn’t share her amusement to the situation.

“Well I do like him, he’s invited me over for a game night with him and his brothers, but I hardly know him and that was the main problem with Ben”

“Are you going to try and fuck him?” she said bluntly.

“No,” you protested offended by her asking.

“Why not just go, if he’s with his brothers then he’s not going to try anything with you who knows it might be nice to just hang out. Get to know him: you know? Let your hair down a bit.” She admitted and you saw her point.

“Yeah I'll text him, but I don't know if I will ever be able to not associate him with Ben.” You frowned.

“Look go and I'm not on call tonight so if you need a rescue mission text me the usual code, I'll come round before you can even worry,” you felt the smile in her voice and felt warmed by the kind offer.

“Alright I'll text him but this time no sex until at least the-”

“When it feels right, not when you’re drunk.” She butted in and you agreed at her response.

“Alright I'll finish my chores and text Matt, don’t worry this time you’re getting a text good or bad!”

“Glad to hear it, take care sis. See you soon!”

“Thanks Saz bye” you smiled hanging up the phone.

You took in a deep breath and finally admit to yourself you felt content with the outcome of the day. Your head seemed to get worse in response to your happiness, but you wouldn’t allow it to ruin your day, you just needed to take some pain killers to ease the torment.

Hey Matt. Hope there was a good reason for you to be up so early in the morning? My night didn’t go so well, is tonight still on?

You sent the message and prayed for the best, getting up and sorting out your chores for the day.

Matt had told you not to worry about your date and to just get there any time after five. He’d reassured you you'd deserved better and he intended to make your weekend less bleak. He was so kind: genuine, you'd thought. Finding comfort in the back and forth texts with him through the day. You'd come to terms with the fact Matt just might be a really good friend if nothing else and you were very much okay with the fact. Throughout the last few hours of talking about random games you could play your brain had relaxed, allowing you to stop taking painkillers, you think you’d drank all the water your body could take.

“Right,” you said to no one in particular looking into your wardrobe as though you were about to solve the most sought out puzzle in the world. You didn't need to dress up for Matt he liked you the way you were and you were hardly trying to impress him the day after you fucked a stranger. On the other hand you didn't want to be boring and blend into his sofa.

After you’d tried five different outfits on you settled with a grey t-shirt under a black shift dress, black tights and a denim jacket. This was it you couldn’t bare the effort of fighting with your wardrobe anymore. You parted your hair down the middle plaiting either side so your fringe was out of your face for maximum gaming strength; tactics taking over.

As you started the short drive down to Matt’s you wondered how old his brothers were, which you were also meeting tonight. Part of you hoped they were much younger so you wouldn’t be able to stare at them like you did with Matt and part of you wanted them to be much older and not worth even worrying over.

“I'm not...get it out of your head ___ you’re their friend!” you shouted at yourself nearly slamming your hands on the horn in despair. You drove around the last roundabout on your journey watching your satnav closely. You couldn’t concentrate on directions with music and without music you couldn’t stop trying to count how many hours you’d spent with Matt in total.

“I can’t do this I need to turn back...” You said starting a very slow pace down Matt’s road. No you’d got this, you parked on the street outside his house, placing your hands in your head. You flipped the visor down to stare into the mirror, instantly regretting what you saw, “I shouldn’t be doing this”.

You sat there for a long while just hoping Matt didn’t catch on to you being parked outside, before you plucked up the courage to just get it over with. Your fingers wrapping into a fist brushing against the glass window on his front door. You drew it back waiting a long while and then let it fall back against the glass.

You weren’t stood outside long before Matt pulled the door open, he was wearing some jeans and a casual t-shirt it was so unorthodox to your eyes, he usually dressed so smartly. Your eyes flickered to the arm holding the door watching his muscles flex, you returned to his eyes a warmth in them that welcomed you and he held you his gaze.

“Hello ___” he smiled.

“Hey Matty, sorry I'm late I just didn't-“

“I said any time after five stop fretting” he cut you off already seeing in your face how down you felt.

“Sorry,” you said letting your eyes fall to the floor like a child being told off.

He took your chin in his fingers, “at least try and forget about last night okay?”

You met his eyes melting in their grasp, “yes okay.”

“Come in then, meet Kylo” he said leading you through the door and shutting it behind you.

You took your shoes off and proceeded to follow Matt into the house like a shy little puppy. Once you'd made it to the living room he told you to get comfortable so you settled down sitting by the arm of the chair, Matt sat on the same sofa but on the opposite side, tucking one leg over the other.

The room was dimly lit and modern. There was solid wooden furniture dotted around strategically for guest to place their cups, a grey carpet plush between your feet. The walls were painted a warm blue and the sun was now setting outside, but Matt had already shut the curtains with it being too grim to provide enough natural light: you felt safe.

Someone walked into the room dressed pretty much all in black, you couldn't see his face but he his hair was the polar opposite of Matty's a dark raven colour. It was a little longer too but still held the curls Matt's did. When he swivelled round to sit down and Matt began to introduce you time slowed to a halt. You looked at the mysterious Kylo and you could hear your blood rushing through your ears. If you'd have been any less emotionally unstable you'd have ran for the door with only your socks on and not stopped running until you reached some far off land. Sat in front of you was Ben's near on clone, you looked to Kylo then to Matt, then willed your brain to recall Ben's face.

“Shit...” was all you managed. Kylo and Matt exchanged worried glances but your mind was spinning back to the previous day when Ben had told you his brother was the same age and all of a sudden it was important. He was a twin, a triplet even. You felt sick, how could you have not noticed before, how could you have not asked, it was so obvious you didn't know what to do; so much for an easy night.

“____ what's wrong what's happening?” Matt asked panic in his voice.

“It's...you're...he's...” you didn't know what to say, if you came out with it and you were wrong you'd looked like an idiot, but in that moment your brain couldn't agree with your gut instinct telling you, you were right. Kylo was looking at you worriedly now too, but between them both you'd decided that they didn't look at you like you were insane more so that you were about to throw up or make a run for it. You tried to play it down, “what does your Mum do for a living?”

“____ I don't understand, do you need a drink of water?” Matt said in a soothing voice.

“Just please...” you pleaded your body shaking slightly.

“She works for the government of sort” Kylo answered you immediately and you were so thankful to him.

“Oh thank...” you cleared your throat, “you just caught me off guard, I thought I was going a little insane. Matt you said you had two brothers, I just got paranoid but you're only a twin...right?”

Matt looked at you taken aback by your sudden change in behaviour, “we're triplets and our other brother Ben is out tonight with some girl,” Kylo offered rolling his eyes.

“No...No please this...” you cried freaking out, it was true. Your mind was spinning why couldn't you remember Ben's face? Had you blocked it from all memory?

“Matt, the guy who I was seeing, I was seeing a guy called Ben and now I come to think about it, he looked like and...” you were just saying words hoping they formed some sort of a sentence.

Matt and Kylo were exchanging glances, Kylo's a little more concerned than Matt's was, “but it can't be your Ben because my Ben was picking his Mum up from college, he said she worked there. That's how we met...”

“That little shit...” Kylo growled, “I am going to fucking kill him!”

Matt was next to jump into the conversation this time as confused as you were, “Kylo what happened?”

“You know Ben, Matt. When he went to college a couple of weeks ago to break it off with Abby, he bumped into...” he fell short looking at your sympathetically.

“Me,” you said tears welling in your eyes.

“At the time I told him he was being stupid and it wasn't fair on...” he sighed feeling more than a little awkward, but you'd completely zoned out.

You lifted your knees into your chest resting your chin on top of them, your centre spiralling out of control. Half of you wanted to find him and kill him the other half wanted to say 'I told you so'.

How could I be so naïve?

You snapped out of your daze, becoming aware of your surroundings, “he's out with some girl?”

Kylo and Matt had been talking things through and were surprised to hear you chirp in, “yes” Kylo said with more hatred then you felt you had for the guy.

Matt cleared his throat awkwardly, “we don't know that though do we?” he was giving Kylo the look and he seemed to realise he wasn't exactly making you feel any better.

“I feel sick...I...I need to go home,” you tried to stand up but your whole body was crying out for you to sit back down. It was weak, you'd not felt hungry enough to eat all day, all you'd managed were painkillers and water and you felt light-headed.

“Whoa,” Matt said coming to your side and sitting you back down, he squatted so he was at eye level with you, his hands resting on your thighs.

“I'm so stupid,” you cried, tears once again making rivers down your face.

“Not at all,” Matty said his voice gentle and reassuring.

“You don't know what I did Matty...” you sniffed wishing desperately for a tissue.

Kylo walked back into the room and you'd not realised he'd left, he passed you over some tissues and placed a glass of water by your side, then he joined his brother in front of you, “thanks” you snuffled through the tissue which you'd pressed into your face.

“I'm sure it doesn't matter,” he said taking your other hand and squeezing it.

You felt safe now, with them both there. You'd already started to feel safe with Kylo and you'd met him fifteen minutes ago: maximum.

“Have you eaten anything today?” Kylo asked probably noticing the faint look on your face, you shook your head and returned your eyes to Matty who was watching you protectively.

“Ben won't be coming back to our place tonight, he assured us of that. So you can stay here as long as you'd like, but I understand if you need to-” your body lurched forward and your arms locked themselves around Matt's neck. It took him by surprise and he was stiff until he adjusted to hold you back just as tight, Kylo must have felt awkward as he left the room again.

“I'm sorry I am such a burden,” you cried into his chest not daring to let go.

He held you there for a long time before he pulled back to look into your eyes, you were thankful you'd agreed not to put make-up on otherwise Matt would have the problem of getting mascara out of his shirt right now.

“____, do you like pizza? Matt can let you go if he wants but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least buy you food, I should have done more to stop Ben” the word sounded like poison in the air and you nodded shyly at him the promise of food perking you up.

 

 

  
You’d settled down now, feeling a lot calmer than you had earlier. Kylo and Matt had made sure you were fed and you’d insisted on playing Mario Kart.

“Matty…you little…aww come on…” you whined as he dropped another banana skin for you to slip on. You’d always thought you were quite the professional at Mario Kart but Matt was proving you wrong.

You’d dropped Kylo off your tail a while back on the map but he’d just caught up to you, “you guys, you’re supposed to let me win!”

Kylo chuckled and you looked across to Matt who had an intense look of concentration on his face, his glasses sliding down his nose.

You pushed forward close on Matt’s tail the finish line in sight, you used your boost you’d saved in secret and sped past Matt just to steal first, “hah!”

You poked Matt in the ribs moving closer to him, “what? You asked me to let you win!”

“Uhuh,” you said smirking at him.

You pushed a stray piece of hair behind your ear as Kylo re-entered the room, you swear you’d not seen him leave this time either, he had three glass bottles in his hands and you assumed it was some form of larger.

“Do you want one ____?” he asked passing one over to his brother knowingly.

“I best not, me and Ben were out drinking last night. We got…very drunk,” you winced at the thought.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s not your fault, I should have known better than to-” you cut yourself off clearing your throat loudly.

“Do you want to talk about it, he’s our brother-” Matt tried.

“Exactly the reason I don’t want to talk about it,” you admitted wishing Matt would just shut up.

“Give her a break Matt,” Kylo said “____ do you want something else to drink?”

“Actually yeah, I’d love a cup of tea?” you asked hopeful.

“Come on then let’s go make you one,” Kylo said leading you to the kitchen. Matt looked at Kylo angrily for a second before turning to smile at you as you left the room.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself ____,” Kylo said watching your rub your arms nervously.

“Thanks for letting me come over tonight, suppose you guys have really helped me, in more ways than one,” you chuckled.

“You’re welcome over whenever. Don’t wait for Matt to invite you again.”

“I didn’t expect to get on so well with his brother. Thought you know, it might be an awkward night, to say the least,” you smiled at him feeling rather glad of his presence.

Kylo grabbed the kettle and pushed it under the tap, once it was filled he put it back on its hold and flipped the switch, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms.

“So why is Matt blonde?” you asked noticing you were staring at Kylo’s hair.

“Suppose he doesn’t want to associate himself with me or Ben,” Kylo winked.

“What’s so bad about you huh?” you flirted.

He shrugged with a smirk, backing off a little as he knew you weren’t in the mood for a flirting session at a time like this. You rubbed your arms again feeling a little chilly, when Matt entered the kitchen rubbing his eyes and yawning.

You checked your watch, it was ten to nine and you had to do a double take, you’d been playing stupid games with them for hours.

“I didn’t realise it was that time,” you said feeling like you might have over stayed your welcome.

“If you’re up for it, we could just watch a movie?” Kylo suggested, the thought of you leaving upsetting him.

“We don’t mind if you need to go home though ____,” Matt interjected.

“I’ll stay if you want me to,” you said looking straight at Kylo who flashed you a smile.

“Of course,” they said in unison and you laughed.

“Do you guys do that often?”

They exchanged glances before shrugging. The kettle clicked at that moment and Matt put you a mug on the side, grabbing a tea bag.

“How do you like it?” Kylo asked grabbing the milk from the fridge.

“Just a splash of milk, no sugar” you smiled.

“Already too sweet huh?” Matt said coming to stand next to you and letting Kylo finish it.

“Yeah right,” you smirked leaning on him slightly.

“Matt, you know my PC has still been playing up,” you admitted.

“I can have a proper look at it when we are back at work if you like?” he said pushing his glasses back up his nose.

“You could but John and Janet might get suspicious.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well we see each other all the time now and you’re a developer technically you’re not a fixer of shit,” you laughed as Kylo passed you your mug.

“What do you do Kylo?” you asked seeing he felt a little left out.

Matt went very quiet in that moment and you felt like you were probably missing something obvious, or perhaps shouldn’t have asked.

“I teach,” he stated bluntly.

“You teach?” you asked knowing by now you were crazy for doing so, clearly he didn’t like to talk about it and now wasn’t the time to be cocky.

“Yes,” was all he managed and you looked at him mischievously.

“So like nursery kids or?”

He took a deep breath trying desperately not to snap at his new friend. Matt was holding back a laugh crossing his arms to mimic your stance.

“Mum thinks I am a quantum physics professor,”

“But?”

“Nothing.”

“Uhuh,” you smirked from behind your hair.

 

 

You’d decided on a movie and settled on the same sofa, you were in the middle of Matt and Kylo. At some point in the night Matt had put a blanket on you, noticing you were cold and you’d found yourself laying on his shoulder his arm draped lazily around you. You could sense Kylo’s jealousy as he’d started to paint circles onto your calf under the cover absent-mindedly which right now you didn’t care about: too sleepy to care. It wasn’t as though he was shoving said fingers in places that were way out of your comfort zone right now. You were drifting in and out of consciousness, the feelings of them both touching you a little too nice for your love deprived mind to comprehend, you felt if they kept it up you’d be inevitably asleep pretty soon and that wasn’t going to help anyone in the current situation you’d forced yourself into.

You focused on Kylo’s gentle caresses and then the safety of Matt’s arm over you, they were hypnotising you into a submissive trance. You couldn’t control your weakness, they were intoxicating and your mind was exhausted desperate for you to give in.

I’ll just rest my eyes for ten minutes and then I can go home.

Forcing yourself to stick to that solemn promise, your eyes closed and gave in.

 

 

You woke up to the action of Matt moving you off him slightly, “as much as I’d let you sleep on me all night ____ it’s gone midnight. You’re more than welcome to stop over at ours, I can make the guest bed up for you?”

Matt’s voice was the best wakeup call you’d ever received, it was benevolent, pleasant like the sweet taste of syrup. You pushed yourself off him, missing Kylo’s presence by your feet. You rubbed your eyes trying to will yourself out of your daze, “how long have I been out?”

“Not long you drove Kylo away with your snoring.”

“What!” you said regretting saying it so loudly.

He smirked at you flashing you a wide toothy grin, “that’s not funny Matty!”

“You were nothing less than angelic I assure you, but Kylo has an appointment in the morning, if you wanted to stay over I am sure I could impress you with my breakfast making skills.”

You didn’t know which way was home, trying to remember the plan of the three boy’s house, but you were so out of it you doubted you’d figure it out any time soon. The promise of a bed without the long drive home was bliss to your ears but the prospect of staying the night at the house Ben eventually had to come home to was hauling you over the ledge to stop being so stubborn and just drive yourself home.

“I better go home,” you sighed solemnly.

“You don’t have to worry about Ben, ____. Kylo said he’d speak to him about it, I’m not saying you guys are going to become best friends again over night, but we can’t bear the thought of not getting to spend time with you.”

We? You thought a little taken aback by Kylo’s immediate liking to you, it was true however you too didn’t want your friendship with Matty or your new found solidarity in Kylo to be lost over the incident with Ben. Sure it had been Matt’s fault you’d stopped Ben from fucking you in the first place but it was worth it just to see first-hand how Matt made you feel, Kylo too. Safe, loved and beyond all a friend.

“I’m worried that you will think…what Ben thinks of me. I’m not, it was our third date and then there is you and how you make me feel and I couldn’t let him carry on, it wasn’t because…we’d not…”

Matt watched you stumble on your words knowing you desperately wanted to confide in him, he grabbed your hand in his, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me ____ you don’t think I know what Ben’s like?”

“Whatever he called you I am sure it was out of anger and he didn’t mean it. Ben’s a lot like Kylo in the sense he doesn’t open up much,” Matt sighed tucking a piece of hair that had strayed from your plait behind your ear.

You sighed too pulling the cover off you and standing up to stretch, “well I’ll get going, as much as I’d love to stay Matty, I think it’s best if I sort things out with Ben before he finds me in his house,” you admitted dreading the drive home.

“I understand,” he smiled a little sad you had to leave.

He ran his fingers through his hair and you couldn’t help but admire him, he was so handsome and so were his brothers if you didn’t keep your dignity you found yourself wanting all three of them, considering Ben was already ticked off the list.

The drive home was short lived and by the time you got back to your apartment you were half asleep, ditching your clothes and crawling under the duvet.


	6. Fixes

It had be nearly a week since your interaction with the triplets and you were sad. You’d convinced yourself it was best to stay away. Matt was working on you at the office, trying to coax you round and out of the Ben funk you’d solidified yourself into. As much as you loved having a friend at work he wasn’t going to convince you it was a good idea to just apologise to Ben and get it over with, no matter how desperate you were to meet up with him, and Kylo for that matter, out of work.

You pressed the lift button, your palms sweating, you really didn’t want to have to go upstairs and ask but, you had no other choice, there was only so long you could convince John you were still working despite your computer being absolutely dead.

You awkwardly clutched the device between your arms, not wanting Bill, Matt or whoever else wanted their hands on the device, to have to interact with John or Janet. No, no. This was your safest option for sure.

The doors hummed open and some dolled up woman was inside, you recognised her from marketing but couldn’t recall her name. She looked you up and down before turning her snooty nose up and walking out onto your floor. Once you situated yourself in the woeful machine you pressed that dreaded floor number and took in a deep breath.

It hummed open and you walked out, hoping no one noticed you, you sincerely hoped you just blend into the back ground. You walked up to the section on the floor you needed, hoping Matt had gone to the toilet maybe, much to your dismay he hadn’t and further to you discomfort they were talking about you, “so come on Matt we all know you and ____ are…you know” you heard them talking rather loudly and stood still. Your mind was screaming and you desperately wanted to be swallowed by the ground.

You let your eyes roam across to them, the partition of the wall your saviour in that moment. They couldn’t see you.

Part of you thought it would be a good idea to just turn back and walk away, but then you remembered John, that was not the right option. The other wanted you to stay in your hidden spot and listen to what they had to say, but surely that would make you even more suspicious. It was worth a shot, you dropped to the floor placing you laptop down gently and pretending to tie your lace. No one was roaming the place and most people couldn’t see you, so unless someone had to make a dash for the lift, you were safe for the time being.

“You know?” he restated abashed by their brazenness.

“Fucking,” that was Doughnut Man and you’d wished they’d just shut up. Perhaps it was because you were practically sat on top of them right now but they were being rather loud and you really didn’t appreciate being spoke about in that way.

Matt made a very disconcerted noise before pleading his innocence which you could confirm was truthful, not that you wanted to make a guest appearance in their conversation.

“Yeah but you want to,” that was Bill now which just made your stomach churn even more, they weren’t supposed to be discussing you in that way, it wasn’t right, was this literally how most men spoke to each other, it didn’t surprise you if it was true. On reflection you imagined most girls including yourself had been the same on many occasions.

“Maybe…” he smirked as they all made approving noises.

I have to leave. Make a crawl for it. I can worm my way back over. No one will notice me. I’ll quit my job. Migrate…

Your fingers were getting knotted between your bows in your laces and suddenly you couldn’t remember how to tie them, Matt wanted to have sex with you. The same Matt you’d stared at in the lift for the past god knows how long, the same Matt who you’d wanted to have sex with the first time you’d seen his perfect face. The same Matt you’d grown to know as a good friend.

There was no way you could just pop your head out from the wall now, saunter over to his desk and proclaim, ‘hi everyone I now know Matt wants to fuck me, you’ll be happy to know the feeling is mutual’. No. Now you had to wait for a window in which their conversation changed to something more appropriate, but the way it was currently going you didn’t think there would be a time like that ever. It then dawned on you that John probably thought you’d fallen into a conference room with Matt and your computer wasn’t the only thing he was fixing.

You hated yourself for even thinking it, but you found it quite clear that Matt was content on telling his work colleagues his desires and who knew if they had any ounce of confidentiality, soon the whole building would know your antics.

“I heard about you and Karen though,” Matt threw back at Bill.

“Who hasn’t?” someone added.

“What, I haven’t” Doughnut Man butted in.

“He’s with that blonde from marketing,” Matt snickered

“The one with the big tits?” someone new came into the conversation.

This was getting out of hand, you could never walk away from this, this wasn’t what people should talk about at work, and surely others could hear them.

“Karen,” Matt sighed again probably feeling the conversation was getting a little out of hand.

“We are just seeing each other…” Bill said getting a little flustered, you felt his pain right now that much was fact.

“Is that in or out of the bedroom?” Doughnut Man said and you heard someone shuffling from their chair.

“I’m getting a drink, anybody want one?” one of the men who you’d not known the name of asked and you heard an array of ‘no thanks’.

Your body didn’t respond to the situation, still fixated to the floor, hands entwined with the laces, if you didn’t stand up soon your antics would be made more than obvious and you’d never live it down. You willed yourself off the floor grabbing your laptop and trying to stand nonchalantly against the partition.

The man came around the corner and you tried to act as natural as possible, passing him a small smile before walking past him to reach your ultimate destination, “in the bedroom obviously.”

You walked up to the congregation and stopped upon hearing that, at this point you couldn’t even differentiate who’d said it, although it didn’t matter, you were as red as a rose and you certainly felt caught between thorns.

“Part of me is saying you’re not talking about sleep,” you said trying to alleviate the awkward tension, rolling your eyes, “I’ll let you get back to whoever, or whatever you were talking about I just need help with my PC.”

Everyone turned back to their desks as if they’d been caught by someone from management and you felt the tension in the air rising. If you directed your question to Bill, would Matt be upset and if you directed it to Matt would he receive grief for the rest of the day? The rest of the week even?

You went for the safe option, Matt would have to deal with a hint of jealousy and besides Bill was technically the ‘fixer of shit’, namely your laptop.

You swivelled round so you were facing Bill and Matt’s expression made your heart hurt, you’d really wanted to ask him, but not here, not in front of all these sex deprived men. That was the name you’d saddled them with.

“Would you be able to help me Bill?” you asked reaching your arms out to hand him the alien device.

“What have you done?” he smiled taking it from you.

“Well, I was hoping you could tell me that…isn’t that your job?” you joked.

“I thought Matt was helping you with it?” his eyes scanned the device finding the on button and pressing it, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice, were they all spell bent on making you migrate?

“Um. Well.”

Please don’t say anything please don’t say anything…

“I thought it was her fan, but I think she’s running out of memory,” Matt said standing to join you placing a hand on your shoulder, “I told you I’d look at it for you.”

“Actually I was getting error messages about my memory now I recall. It’s been so slow, should I have been monitoring it task manager or something?” You fumbled awkwardly.

He was acting like nothing had happened and you couldn’t cope, your stomach full of butterflies accompanied by a low burning desire to pull him in for a snog.

You cleared your throat, not wanting to answer, you could feel everyone else’s eyes burn into you with Matt being so close. Oxygen was sparse and you tried desperately not to overreact and lose your cool but Matt and Bill had started talking and you felt as though it was an alien language.

“-I think we do yeah, I can grab it…” Matt said finishing his conversation with Bill.

“Keys,” Bill said handing them over to Matt and he gave you a smile telling you with his eyes to follow him.

Before you could comprehend what had just happened Bill was smirking at you and you were being marched off to somewhere with Matt, your heart no longer in your chest. You felt your blood pulse through your brain, your hands cake themselves in sweat, your mind wandering to the word Matt had said maybe. But most of all the thought of following him somewhere with a locked door, you watched him playing with the keys in his hand, you felt as easy as they were. Submissive, like putty he could do whatever he liked with and yet you couldn’t stop yourself following, couldn’t bring your throat to string together a coherent sentence. You just followed him butterflies now consuming your body, trying to suppress the intense desires you’d had for him all along.

 

  
You reached a medium sized room which adjoined to the main largely open space section you’d just come from, Matt pushed the keys into the lock and twisted them, painfully slow. You watched in agony as he pushed the door forward and let you in too, he shut the door behind you twisting the keys in his fingers skilfully one last time before stuffing them in his trouser pocket.

“Let’s see....” he said to break the quiet, you kept close behind him , following sheepishly around the corner of the room.

“Why didn’t you just ask me,” he said crouching down to look through some boxes on the floor.

“Well…I just thought…”

“Are you still worrying over the Ben situation? I’ve told you, he’s not going to bother you,” he smiled again running his fingers through his hair.

You held onto to a groan catching it at your throat before it escaped, “No…no…no nothing like that…nope not at all…” you blurted out not sure what you were actually doing in here.

“Oh really? You think I don’t know you’re trying to hide something from me?” he looked at you slyly opening a box.

“It’s not. I wasn’t,” you stopped your fumbling taking a deep breath, “why are we in here?”

“I thought you’d zoned out,” he smirked fiddling with some cables.

“Ugh, you were talking memory or some shit, I thought I was on Mars,” you admitted squatting beside him to get a better look.

“Well you can help me look.”

“Look for what?”

“New memory because yours is- ”

“Fucked?” you interjected.

“I wouldn’t have said that,”

“No you’d have said something super nerdy and incomprehensive…” you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t pretend you don’t love it,” he pushed his glasses back up his nose.

“What am I looking for?” you asked pointing to the daunting task ahead. Looking down at the boxes packed full of green circuit boards. Memory you assumed.

“Four gig or more,” he said starting to go through the assortment of clear boxes and pile them.

“Do all these even work?” You asked taking a clear box and checking its insides for some where that explained it was four gigabytes.

“They should do-”

You stopped him mid-sentence, “do you have a box full of ones that don’t for some weird nerd reason?”

He blushed slightly a little taken aback by the fact you knew what he was about to say next, “no.”

“Uh huh,” you smiled plunging your hand back into the box, he had a good pile full of them now separated and you had two, for a brief moment your hand accidently touched his, you quickly grabbed a box and pulled it out, putting it in a separate pile as it wasn’t any use.

“Come on then ___ this should do us for now,” he said grabbing a box to put the useful ones in.

  
You stood to stretch and for the first time you became aware of your surroundings, “so this is what a server room looks like?”

“Yep,”

“I think it’s awesome!”

“You know sarcasm isn’t going to get you anywhere,” he laughed taking the box and placing it on a shelf higher up. He then grabbed your laptop from behind him which you hadn’t even realised he'd brought in, too mesmerised by the hand twirling the keys. He flipped it upside down and grabbed a screw driver from his pocket, “whoa whoa whoa what are you doing to her?” You protested as he took out the battery and screwed the screws to take the cover off.

“Calm down beautiful, you can trust me,” he said looking over at you cockily.

You had to turn your attention back to the room to stop yourself squirming or getting too giddy by his knowledge.

You could see he was taking things out and checking numbers, “I wasn’t being sarcastic, I actually have a favourite,” you explained referring to his earlier comment. Your eyes scanning the rows of them, you could see at least fifty all lit up and flashing, adjoined with a multitude of colourful wires. The whole room was cool and the air held a pleasant humming which you assumed were their way of showing they were working, it resonated off the walls.

“Oh really? Which?” he said crossing his arms, regarding your seriousness.

You skipped up to the one that had caught your eye, purely because all the wires were neatly entwined and it contented your OCD.

“This one,” you smiled you face lighting up as you watched the thing stuck in its slot fascinated.

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” he cooed closing the distance between you both he pushed his frame up behind you, “that one’s mine, beautiful.”

You felt your body stiffen, desperately wanting him to graze his lips against your neck, cover you in love bites just so when you walked back to his desk the rest of the people he worked with would know what you’d been up to.

Just think of Ben and it’ll be fine you encouraged your brain, but it was too late it was already fixated on what it needed to do, what it had needed to do for too long.

“So I’m beautiful now? Just for picking yours?” you smirked turning to face him he was towering over you a little taller than Ben you’d though, if that was possible.

Before you could even reach up to kiss him his lips had found yours, shy Matt, disintegrating right in front of you. Next his hands were finding the back of your neck pushing you into him. You found yourself groaning in appreciation, revelling in the feeling of how soft he was being. His kiss was needy and affectionate like he’d been waiting just as long as you had to be in this position. You couldn’t help but be the dominant one, pushing his body up against the wall and running your fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands which made him moan his approval. You seized the opportunity to push your tongue into his mouth, skimming along his teeth before his tongue joined in on your attack, trying to push its way back into your mouth to explore. You were running out of breath but too afraid to give him up, you pulled back taking in short breaths before returning to his lips. They felt so soft against yours and he tasted like peppermint, you nipped his bottom lip between your teeth running your tongue along it, which you assumed he had liked a lot as you felt his arousal growing between the short space that was in between you.

Finally after what felt like a lifetime he pulled away as out of breath as you were, “fuck you have no idea how much I have wanted to do that,” you said focussing on his eyes, the chocolate brown iris’s swirling with lust.

“I think I do,” he said pressing his head against the wall closing his eyes, you could tell he was desperately trying to force his appreciation for you down hoping you hadn’t noticed.

Oh you’d noticed and you’d also stopped your hands from roaming to perk it back up, stopped your tongue from wanting the taste of him.

“We should probably get back to work...” you said sadly crossing your arms to rub your elbows nervously.

“Yes but after that I owe you a date,” he smiled finally opening his warm hazel eyes to yours. His glace catapulting your heart through the window.

“I thought you’d never ask,” you giggled appreciatively.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope people are continuing to enjoy this. I'm currently writing chapter 13 in sunny Gran Canaria on holiday. I apologise for the lack of Kylo so far, however he'll be making a very memorable appearance in the next few chapters. Ttfn Els x


	7. Numbers

You'd really expected Matt to have taken you on a date by now and if it wasn't for your stupid brain telling you to wait for him to arrange it you'd have asked him eight times already and it had only been six days. It was Friday now and despite your four lunch outings with him he had acted partially as though your kiss hadn't happened. It put you on edge; your brain wasn't wired in ways that allowed it to block out the over thinking; in fact it was quite the opposite. You didn't understand his disinterest some days, most of the time you'd been out at lunch he'd been showing you his comic drawings and you'd shown him your sketches, very reluctantly.

If Matt hadn't asked yet his kiss was one of three things, a dream that felt so real you were sure you were in the inception movie, an absolute fluke that only happened because the fans made him dizzy enough to latch onto you or the worst one of all a genuine kiss that he'd fully intended to dump on you but an after thought that made him rethink his stupidity. Your brain liked to push that one through your head on the hour and it had so far been enough to keep your questioning at bay.

Today was different, for a start college wasn't on this week which meant a day of suffering Janet. You'd happily caught the bus to work after your car was at the garage for a service it wasn't a big deal you were quite happy picking it up the next day.

You'd been so excited to see Matt on the day you wouldn't normally - opting to even make tea in the morning to catch him as you knew you'd find him there - but today you'd soon found out really wasn't your day.

After Matt hadn't showed for tea you'd text him, and taken the lonely lift journey up to your floor. You walked over to your desk Janet shuffling papers, her wiry hair even more untamed than usual, the grey strands reflecting under the light over head.

You looked to find John but he wasn't in his seat, though not uncommon for him to get in after ten an inkling fell to the pit of your stomach. You sat in your seat biting the bullet like every morning to acknowledge Janet's existence in not just the room but your life in general.

"Morning," you said as enthusiastically as you could muster.

"Hello," she chirped in a shrill unneeded tone, "John's not in today. Decided to fly out to France for the month."

"Oh...okay" was all you managed before you turned on your laptop to block her out.

It was mid afternoon and you'd managed to persuade yourself not to text Matt again, he clearly wasn't in work, but his silence had gotten you a little worried.

"Oh ___" Janet sighed rather loudly in a sarcastic tone.

You regarded her seriousness, surely she hadn't needed to say it so loudly people at least eight feet away had heard.

"Umm what di-"

Before you could even finish your sentence she had cut you off, and though you'd not thought it possible, she'd somehow managed to both whisper it and shout it at the same time, "You see these numbers?" She was round your side of the desk now bending over excruciatingly slow to show you the red binder in her hands.

You nodded in response dumbfounded by her audacity to show you up.

"Well what number is that?" She sighed impatiently rocking back on her heels.

"Eight-hundred and twenty nine?" You queried as though it wasn't the most obvious question someone had asked you since you'd left Primary school.

She flipped the page in a swift motion, your eyes adjusting to the page before ~ eight-hundred and ninety two ~ you smiled relieved you hadn't done something far worse, "ah okay I'll get that sorted right away, my mis-"

Again she cut you off her voice a snarl against the sudden silence on your floor, "And. What number should it be!?"

Your voice didn't falter, "eight-hundred and ninety three..." you trailed off feeling nervous under the intense glare she had on you.

"Get it done please," Janet proclaimed once more.

You steadied your fist under the table from swinging for her, as Pete rounded the corner.

Pete was the founder of your company, he was a smart confident business man that never had a smile on his face. He moved to stand by Janet his hand grazing her lower back somewhat discretely. You'd never really understood why they'd chose to keep their quite evident relationship under wraps, it was embarrassing to say the least.

The way they tried to deny it was often talked about by people around the office, especially on your floor.

"Is something wrong here ladies?" he said in his usual mundane tone.

"____ did the numbers wrong," she paused to roll her eyes and you reflexes yanked your other arm down from hitting him too "it's becoming a usual occurrence..."

"What!?" You blurted absolutely dumbfounded she had said something so obscene an uncalled for. You'd always known you and Janet weren't the best of friends but that low blow had really taken it out of hand, "Excuse you Janet but I never get the numbers wrong. This is a one off tiny mistake in the grand scale of things I told you I would happily change the numbers. If you'd have let me finish to begin with I'd have fucking told you I could do it in fifteen minutes maximum. So no for once no. I'm not fucking taking your bullshit because the amount of times I've covered for your mistakes I couldn't count on one hand!" you stopped for breath the sudden realisation of what you'd said dawning on you. The whole floor was silent and now your eyes had lost contact with hers you could see most of the other people around your desk were watching as baffled by what you'd said as you were.

"My office. Now." Pete stated. Your legs rising on their own to follow him into his glass office to the side of the floor you worked on.

He followed close behind you, an arm pulling the glass door too with a bang that didn't sound healthy. You were too afraid to look back and check there wasn't any cracks on the surface of it, in case your eyes should meet his.

"That is not how we speak to our colleagues. Especially our senior colleagues." He shouted and you were sure it was for the satisfaction that Janet would praise him later.

He was under her thumb as much as you were and that was saying something.

"I'm so sorry. It just came out, but I think her actions to belittle me were uncalled for," would your stupid mouth stop getting you in trouble today, you weren't sure.

"I don't care what she did. She is your boss when John isn't there she deserves respect-"

"-and I don't? I know the numbers were wrong she didn't have to announce it to the whole floor."

"If I hear just one complaint from Janet going forward you'll face a disciplinary. Do you understand?"

Your teeth grinded together he'd ignored you and he wanted you to respect him and his fifty-odd year old fuck buddy trapped with a ten year olds mentality.

"Fine."

You tried to leave his room, but he made you halt when he spoke again, "please close the door on your way out," you pulled it open and closed it as slowly and sarcastically as you could, flashing him a fake smile. Then you marched over to her and sat in your seat determined not to say one more thing to her, fuming Matt wasn't there to look out for you.

You left the office without speaking another word the reality of Pete's warnings resting heavy on your shoulders. You'd spent the entire day keeping eye contact with anything other than humans quite content on staring at your stationary holder.

Once you'd made it outside the rain that was pelting the ground had become a perfect cover for the impending tears. In your sorrow and anger you'd caught the bus you knew went close to Matt's desperate for some form of sympathy. Once you'd got off at the stop you thought was closest you'd began your soggy walk to his house.

You'd be walking a while before you'd decided to call Matt to tell him you were turning up at his house, the thought dawning on you he may not have been in. The rain was relentless your clothes sticking to your skin like a wet suit. You found every step you got closer to the triplet's house, the more you began sneezing, the more your tears fell and the more your body shook from the cold.

Matt hadn't answered but you were too needy for attention to stop, realising you could have gone to Sarah's had you have been less stupid.

It was too late to rebuke yourself you were going regardless even if you sat on his front step and cried until someone called the police. Your pace slowed as your got closer to the large house, far too large for the three of them, the garden out front looking more and more untamed the closer you got.

You reached the drive turned to see Ben's bike: a trophy to top off your misery that day. You couldn't go in if Ben was home, Matt's car wasn't on the drive, Kylo's nowhere to be seen. You couldn't rely on Ben for comfort. You wanted to drop to your knees, curl into a ball, let the pavement absorb you coat you in water, so your tears ceased to exist. You vaulted your buckling knees turned to walk back to the bus stop, the walk of shame, when you heard the beautiful sound of a car engine.

You turned on your heal intrigued which brother had come to your rescue wiping your soaked sleeve over your face as though it would remove your tears. The rain didn't seem to phase the shining black vehicle, in its presence you couldn't help be in awe as it parked on the brothers drive, from this angle you couldn't see its driver until he stepped out. He pushed the door shut and locked it using the button on his key fob, finally in view you saw it was Kylo.

You released the breath you didn't know you were holding, waiting for him to make the first move, "___?"

"Is Matty home?" You sniffed knowing the tears were about to reappear.

Kylo winced away from the rain as he came over to take your hand. He dragged you to the door, not speaking a work until he'd shut it behind you.

"What were you thinking? Where is your car?" he said concerned

"I'm sorry..." was all you managed as more tears flooded you.

"What are you apologising for?" he said rolling his eyes returning back into the corridor where you hadn't realised you'd been left. He passed you over a dry towel and you threw it over your shoulders desperate for even the tiniest scrap of warmth. You dropped to your feet trying and failing to untie the soggy laces on your shoes. You finally gave up and forced them off, propping yourself against the wall.

"Thank you..." You shivered wrapping the towel around you further.

He sighed, "I don't want any arguing. You're having a shower, and we are finding you some dry clothes. And then you're going to tell me what's happening."

You sniffed reluctant to get up from your comfort in the corner, he grabbed your hands pulling you up with him and walking you to Matt's bedroom, "This is Matt's room, have a shower then we talk."

"Where is Matty, is Ben home?" You sobbed

"They are at Mum's with Dad" he stated plainly.

"He didn't answer my calls he...he..." Your sobs started again as if you were incapable of turning the water off.

"Shower now," Kylo said getting impatient with your trail of dripping water that was following you around.

You didn't argue anymore only took his command and got into Matt's shower. You started the water peeling off your layers, your body tingling from the dramatic change in temperature, thankfully your pants and bra were dry enough to put back on later. You sat on the floor of his walk in shower the bumpy tiles sticking into you as you wallowed under the hot water in your self pity. Your tears had stopped your body too tired to cry anymore. You found yourself scratching your skin, itching from the temperature, refusing to stand up to wash yourself you grabbed his shower gel and lathered yourself up on the floor.

After some time just enjoying the heat, there was a knock at the door. You turned off the water and grabbed your towel wrapping it around you. You grabbed the handle deciding only to poke your head around the corner, "I've brought you some dry clothes, so pick what you want. Bring your wet clothes down and we can wash and dry them for you" Kylo said making sure not to look at you so you'd keep what scrap of your decency you had left.

You looked through the mainly black t-shirts he'd passed you, finding yourself gravitating towards the album t-shirt of Marilyn Manson's and chuckling tossing it over your head. It smelt like it had just come out of the wash but you doubted it, not imagining any one of the three brothers would wear a top like this regularly. You looked in Matt's mirror agreeing with yourself you could get away with the t shirt acting as a dress. You scooped up your wet clothes and saddled down stairs feeling embarrassed.

"I'm guessing this isn't Matt's?" you smirked as you walked into the kitchen hands full.

"It was a phase..." he said taking them from your hands and putting them in the washing machine.

"If you say so but I might call you Marilyn from now on..." you said learning on him slightly.

"I made you hot chocolate," he said rolling his eyes.

"Yes!" you said happily.

"Do you want to talk about why you turned up on our door step crying?" Kylo said and you turned back silent. Yes you did want to talk you wanted to tell him what had happened but you were more concerned as to why Matt had ignored you, it wasn't like him.

"Um..." he placed the hot cup in between your hands and guided you to the living room. You sat down in the spot you think you'd claimed as yours and placed your cup on the side table. Kylo sat beside you and pulled a blanket over for you to take. You gladly did pulling your legs up under it, now there was no chance of you flashing him.

"I want to tell you Ky. But I need to know why Matt is ignoring my calls first" you sighed.

"Dad doesn't come home very often. He's usually away for work,"

"Oh so why didn't you go?" No you shouldn't have asked that it probably wasn't in your jurisdiction to know their family affairs.

"I don't get on with Dad. But since he was in town such short notice Ben and Matt went to spend the day at theirs. I'm at a very important seminar," he rolled his eyes.

"Well I am quite important," you said feeling a lot happier than you had arriving at the triplets house, "still don't see why he wouldn't answer my calls" you said a little more bitterly than you had wanted.

"I wouldn't worry. Matt's a peace keeper no doubt he's just stressed and trying to keep everyone happy."

"Not me though," you huffed, "um...sorry."

"Stop apologising," he smiled taking a sip from his mug.

"Sorry..." You laughed, "So as for the reason I turned up at yours. I just really needed Matt," you shuffled to get comfortable, "someone I work with she full on humiliated me in front of my whole floor and to make matters worse, the boss – who she's fucking - walked in at the moment I lost it and basically said he's putting me through a disciplinary for basically doing absolutely nothing wrong".

"That does not sound good," Kylo furrowed his brow

"You're telling me. She deserved it. Stupid-" your voice was faltering but you didn't need to cry anymore you'd had quiet enough water running down your face today.

Kylo pulled you into a tight hug which you really hadn't expected, his strong arms making you feel safe "I'm sure that your boss won't fire you over this."

He pulled away from you all too soon and went back to get his drink, you went for yours now. It was just the right temperature when you brought it to your lips, sickly sweet taste and you hummed in approval.

"I'd hire you," he laughed "If he did."

"Oh really and you think I know how to teach..." you paused and air quoted "quantum physics".

"No but Matt told me you're good at art," Kylo shying away a little.

"You...you're...you teach," you said flabbergasted.

"Don't act so shocked," he laughed jabbing you in the side.

"No I love art. I'm don't think I'm any good but I do love to see all forms of art even the weird stuff you know just because it's so interesting to see how people interpret things," you prattled on.

He just smiled at you and you regarded it may have been the only genuine smile he'd ever given you.

"Perhaps I should call Matt you know. Just to make sure he knows I'm here...so he can warn me when he brings Ben home..." you fidgeted for your phone.

"Don't worry ___ I called him while you were getting dry" he used your nickname he'd chosen for you.

"Oh...so he answered you," you said sadly

"What did I say about him being a peace keeper? Thought I'd changed my mind and was coming over. I just told him I'd stole his girl for the night because he hadn't answered your calls. Sufficed to say I don't think it made him any less stressed," he laughed.

You laughed too but it was short lived when you realised what he'd said, "His girl?"

"You know he's been head over heels for you the first day he saw you. Me and Ben have told him to ask you out so many times before now. He wouldn't tell us much about you though, he probably knew this might happen," he rolled his eyes.

"Really?"

He just raised an eyebrow as if the three brother's attraction for you, wasn't the most obvious thing in the room.

You were blushing like crazy waiting for him to change the subject but you were too impatient, "can we watch something?"

"Sure," Kylo shrugged.

After a while of silence you managed to swallow your awkwardness and go back to being yourself. You could tell it was getting late and your earlier decision to accept any alcoholic drink he offered you for a bit of comfort and confidence was starting to make you regret it.

Alcohol made you flirty and that wasn't what you wanted right now, "Kylo you're such an idiot why would I do that?" you laughed.

You'd been talking about you and Ben. He'd known you were tipsy and liable to say anything to impress him and he was trying to get out of you what you'd done to make him hate you so much and likewise why you hated him equally as much.

"So what happened? I can't get a word out of him..." he admitted taking another swig from the bottle he'd brought in earlier.

"Why do you want to know so badly?" you laughed feeling a little better about the whole ordeal.

"Me and Matt have a bet," he said sheepishly.

"Well then I'm not letting you win it Marilyn," you laughed at his attempts but you were not drunk enough for his antics.

"You call me that in front of them and I'll never hear the end of it," he sighed but you couldn't help laughing.

"You're not helping yourself here..." before you could finish your sentence you heard the front door open and out of gut feeling you downed the entire bottle of whatever Kylo had brought you, placing it back down, it wasn't like you could just make a run for it in just a baggy t-shirt.

Kylo pulled you a little closer to him protectively and you gladly obliged wishing you'd been sane enough to check your phone for miscalls.

"Kylo!" you heard Matt shout kind of angrily, he was making his way to the living room and your heart was making its way up your oesophagus.

"Oh um ____ I didn't think you'd still be here. Your car wasn't out side," his voice was barely above a whisper and he'd instantly lost his courage to argue with Kylo, who squeezed you as if in thank you.

You slightly moved away just not to make Matt too suspicious of your actions that evening, "Where is he? Where's Be-" you couldn't finish the sentence before he was in the room.

"What is she doing here?" he said stopping in the door way.

You whole body tensed and you had an impulse to punch him, "Ben" Matt willed him to calm but you were past calm, you'd bottled it all up before now but seeing him stood there handsome as ever was bringing back some sickeningly good feelings.

"She came over to see me," Kylo and Matt said protectively in unison.

That was the epitome of the tension that night and you were glad for having downed that bottle before Matt had got into the room, "what!" again in unison.

You wished you'd just melt into the sofa, why were they all fighting over you?

You shared an awkward glance with Ben, tucking some hair behind your ear.

"Kylo what you said on the phone-" Matt started.

"Well if you had just picked up for her instead of being with him-" Kylo said

"Don't bring Dad into this. It's her whose making you fight-" Ben joined in.

"Fuck you Ben, I did nothing to deserve what you called me," their anger riling your own.

"What like fucking my brother?" he shouted now.

"That's not fair Ben! Me and Matt barely knew one another at the time," you stood up and all three brothers were staring. You remembered your distinct lack of clothes and that probably wasn't giving off the best vibes to Matt or Ben, but Kylo was loving your action to show off his somewhat possession over you.

You could tell their eyes were trying not to wander down past your waist, "seems like you're getting to know Kylo pretty well too now huh?" he said and then Kylo and Matt were interjecting.

"You piece of shit," you growled advancing on him, "least he was fucking here for me when I needed someone," Ben half expected to be punched in the face but you were too upset to deal with the three of them and a little too emotional from the drink.

You stormed past Ben through the corridor and out into the rain. It was less torrential now, but you still didn't fancy another shower, you pulled the door closed behind you and slunk down against the alcove wall, hugging your knees to your chest. It was cold but refreshing, the air taste like upturned mud, but the smell wasn't unpleasant. You knew for once you wouldn't let one of them find you crying, you'd half given up on the idea of someone coming to find you. You closed your eyes listening to the calming sound of the rain hitting the roof of the house above you, quickly learning the pavement under your bare legs was icy cold. You squeezed yourself tighter, wishing you'd drove to their house in order to find comfort drunk driving your car home.

The door squeaked open on its hinges and someone dropped to your level but you didn't dare open your eyes to see which brother it was. He enveloped his hands around yours his thumb instinctively stroking your skin.

You let your eyes open to find yourself staring into Kylo's, there was concern there and something else you couldn't quite judge, "I'm such a burden. I need to leave you all alone, I'm doing nothing but tearing you apart."

"We've always argued it's what brothers do," Kylo laughed helping you up.

You pulled your shirt down where it had rode over your hips and exposed your pants.

Clearing your throat so Kylo would stop staring, you crossed your arms over your chest not that your bra wasn't protecting you, "Does Matt hate me?" You questioned trying to avert your eyes from getting lost in his. You were fidgeting in his arms, not realising he still had your hands in his. His body language was sending mixed messages and you desperately wanted him just to answer if he'd have left you any longer your heart would be in your throat, or you lips would be on his. Half to end the silence, half because the alcohol had risen your lust levels into overdrive.

He licked his lips and you doubted he'd held the silence for a long as it felt, you were convinced you'd let time slow down in his presence. You bit the bullet too paranoid to let him stare at you as though you were his prey any longer, "Kylo..."

"No he doesn't hate you," he said his voice a husky whisper, as he pulled some of the now dry hair out of your eyes to tuck behind your ear, closing the small gap between you in the action.

You wanted to grab onto the eldest brother, nuzzle yourself into the crook of his neck to stop your body from taking advantage of the situation, still hurt by Matt's willingness to stay away.

"-but he's about to," Kylo said against your lips seeming impossibly closer than you'd last remembered.

He pressed his lips to yours and before he even had time to rethink his actions your hand was climbing up his chest to the back of his neck. He regarded your action not to immediately pull him off and took it as permission to advance.

Your lips had instinctively started to kiss his back, his approach was different to both his brothers, he'd let you take lead so far making your ego sky rocket. You'd pushed your hand further into his curls tugging at them which earned a moan from Kylo, he pulled his lips away but kept them close enough for you to want more.

Maybe he was having second thoughts.

His breath was heaving and you imagined yours sounded similar, but your brain was too intoxicated with the taste of him.

He tasted like alcohol: a generalisation, your brain too clouded to remember what kind, "don't stop" you heard but it hadn't come from him, your own mind forcing words from your throat without permission.

He smirked and pushed his lips against yours, this time he wasn't going to let you be in charge and his tongue pushed past your lips. You enjoyed the sensation, his moves forcing a seed of lust to be planted in the pit of your stomach. Your teeth clashed as he took everything he could from you finally submitting to just taking your lips between his teeth and sucking.

You moaned at the sensation as your leg was being hoisted around his hips to bring you closer to his attack. You pulled his hair again as if it would rebuke his actions but instead spurred them on as he bunched your shirt at your waist to stroke the skin at your hip.

You shuddered from the cold hitting it and hated him for his subtlety, despite knowing full well he couldn't fuck you on his brother's door steps.

You drew back panting and resting your forehead against his, Kylo forced himself from your grip clearly hearing something you hadn't and you made an executive decision to fix your make shift dress.

The door swung inwards and Matt appeared concern on his face, you looked up to Kylo who seemed to have calmed himself down a lot better than you had managed, he saw that you didn't calm down at all after a quick wink meant only for you.

Your crossed your legs and then remembered who was stood in the door frame, "Matt" you said bitterly hating the both of them staring now.

"I've made up the guest bed, I'm going to bed," he said through gritted teeth, had he known what you and Kylo had been doing?

You saw the opportunity to get back at Kylo for making you squirm, "thanks can you show me which room because I'm tired".

Matt was taken aback by your willingness to leave Kylo and something that might have resembled a smile crept onto his face, "of course."

You followed him into the house passing Kylo a seductive sideways glance, "thanks for coming to check on me Marilyn," you said back to him as Matt took the lead up the stairs.

"Anytime," he responded but his tone had made you realise you'd pay for that one later.

Matt had showed you where the bathroom was and then your room. It was welcoming and warm the whole room taking on a shiny white hue from the wall paper and bedding alike. You imagine the colour would be starker in daylight. You peaked to check the window, regarded the black out blinds, you'd be grateful of in the morning.

"If you need me I'm across the hall," Matt mumbled snapping you from your daze, he was rubbing his eyes his glasses pushed back into his gold curls.

"Night Matty," you said forcing a smile, still angry he'd abandoned you.

He stretched out a hand to pass you your phone before pushing his glasses back onto his face, "Night."

You took the device from his hands and shut the door, crawling into bed. You checked the time, it was nearly one o'clock. A mix of being tired and the comfort of your bed sent you spiralling into sleep before you'd even been ready.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all still enjoying this - nice long one for you.
> 
> Please drop me a comment if you have any suggestions - I do love to hear from you all.
> 
> THANKS - Els x


	8. Kylo

Your eyes opened and your heart was racing from the dream that had just swam through your hazy mind, it had only been half an hour since you’d originally fallen asleep and you assumed everyone else must have been in bed.

Kylo had been plaguing your thoughts and your pussy was aching to be filled, you needed cold water, either throwing over your head or forcing down your throat. You yanked yourself out of bed and wandered towards the bathroom, walking past Matt’s door to find next on the corridor was Kylo's.

So far so good, you thought as you crept past the rooms, but your aim to find water seemed to evaporate as that heat you’d woken with between your legs came back to light.

You turned back to Kylo’s door, the handle like a magnet beckoning you to its shiny surface. You placed your palm on the metal and your wrist started to push it down without haste realising all too late you'd not even bothered to knock. You cursed your lack of self control but gave in to temptation hoping he’d be awake. When the door cracked and you could see inside you noticed there was a lamp on, he was awake, but you couldn’t see him yet a little dazed by the ambiance of the room.

You remembered you'd not been in Kylo’s room before. It was bigger than Matt’s but not by much, made smaller by his choice of colours. You couldn’t tell but by the small amount of artificial light, it looked to be a deep navy colour. You contemplated shutting the door and not being stupid, but the roots had started to grow and the seed could no longer be starved. Its thorny stem forcing you to advance.

A second small push of the door and you were in, you still couldn’t see the middle brother and was about to turn back when the door shut behind you. You jumped swinging round “fuck Ky not cool.”

Kylo was stood smiling at you. The glow from behind him from what you could now see was a desk lamp, casting an eerie shadow over his features. He must have been waiting for you.

He raised his fingers to his lips in warning, you’d forgotten your apparent affair all too soon, smirking at him.

“Were you waiting for me?” your voice escaped your mouth though it sounded more seductive than you had wanted to come across.

“Hoping” he corrected and you blushed rocking back and forth on your heels nervously.

“Are you doing your art?” you asked in an attempt to seem less desperate. Although you doubted he thought otherwise, his words before had been clear enough for you both to know the outcome of choosing to find his bedroom.

“I was just-” he spun around quickly to hide the paper scattered about his desk but you were quicker, having already pushed past to secure a glance.

“Kylo...this....” you looked at his drawings of various things. Dark sketches; covered in smudge marks and hatching. It was different but less in an unsettling way, they had more of a uniqueness to them.

He was behind you now holding onto the desk chair you’d instinctively sat in to take a closer look. You’d been so sure he'd snatch them from your grasp but he let you study them in turn, “I can see why you teach art..." you paused to look through more before pointing, "Teach me how you do that shading with the lines!” you said.

He drew in close to your ear “I might...if you’re a good girl.”

You body shuddered against his dominating tone and you tried to subdue the goose bumps.

Your confidence you’d used to open the door disintegrating now as you knew he had you at his will and you’d have to try damn hard not to show him that, “I'm always good Kylo.”

“A good girl wouldn’t have done what she did to Ben. Wouldn’t do what she's about to, to Matt...” he whispered again but this time closer his breath against your skin.

“Ky...” you pleaded feebly.

“Shh princess I won’t tell if you don’t."

"What makes you so sure I'll do anything to hurt Matt. It was you that kissed me outside," you reasoned with him.

“You’re here aren’t you?”

You opened your mouth to think of some witty retort but your confidence had crumbled. You were left with a facade that he saw right through.

“That still doesn’t answer my question will you teach me or not-”

“Strip” the command didn’t quite register in your brain before your hands were tugging his black t-shirt over your head. You paused at your bra realising how easily exposed you’d made yourself.

Kylo had picked up a sketch book and pencil and found his way over to his bed to sit down.

“Wait what does this have to do with sketching?” You thought perhaps this was a question you should have asked before you’d tossed away his shirt, but the perturbation had set in and you brain had decided it was better late than never.

“Why don't you strip and find out?” he looked up from his book, twisted his pencil skilfully in his fingers a few times. You regarded him his demeanour, the words had made your body tighten, your pussy ache a little bit more. You could feel the tension rise and fought off the urge to shudder.

  
Your fingers worked instinctively and pulled at the clasp. The awkward piece of elastic which was all that stood between you and your naked glory. The still sober part of your mind knowing you’d have to be careful where you ended up but you knew it was having him buried between your thighs.

You took a deep breath, stilled your shaking fingers and relaxed your heart rate. You'd wanted this all along, there was no backing down now, you’d have to pretend to be submissive. That’s all it was. Theatrics. Surely you knew that from the start: he’s an art teacher.

Your fingers tugged at each notch holding the garment on your body, you considered it again, this was completely mad. Your fingers were shaking so much, your mind anywhere but the task at hand and yet in your daze you managed to slowly reveal yourself to him. Thinking soon after that seduction had been long gone from your show. His eyes were fixed on yours watching you squirm and you sensed he enjoyed your inner battle.

Once the purple lace fabric was pulled from your chest you took in another breath realising you hadn’t breathed since your last act to calm down. Your heart was pounding your ribcage and you angrily cursed yourself over how nervous he was making you. It wasn’t supposed to be turning you on.

You let it fall from your hand to the floor beside your chair and your hands then reached for your pants.

Kylo was smirking at you now, his fingers still flipping the pencil back and forth in his hand. You tried to look away but your brain was wired to think otherwise, images of what he could do with his fingers clouding your vision.

You swallowed your pride with confidence and pulled them off in one swift move, pulling your legs up to move them from under you. You watched as his eyes looked over your naked chest, the pencil now in his mouth. You could do nothing but personify the blasted thing as yourself, a catalyst for your submission.

After a while of pondering your arms reached to cross over your chest, your body warning you subconsciously at how long his eyes had been lingering there.

“I’ve had some good obedient subjects before pet, ____ but you’re so beautiful,” he said seductively.

You rolled your eyes but blushed nonetheless.

“So you want to learn how to hatch?”

You nodded slowly refusing to look at him now.

“What’s wrong Princess?” he asked talking a moment to admire you again.

“Not really learnt anything yet Ky have I?” you taunted crossing your arms.

“Remember what I said about obedience? Stand up for me and I'll have a better view,” he said with a wink.

You'd wanted to shout, protest, but something about the word obedience spurred you on, it was hard not to be a good girl at this point.

It felt all too much like a game. A game you wanted to win at, his subtle hints he’d left about you likely not being the first girl he’d had in this position wanted to make you win. To intoxicate him so he needed you as much as you’d needed him.

You stood for him taking your arms from your chest so he had a perfect view.

Kylo was manipulative that much you could have already worked out. Not only that but you knew how mysterious he was, was it any surprise to you he wanted to watch you squirm and you needed to let him?

“Hmm, you're being a very good girl for me,” you held your legs to the ground desperate not to have to cross them in front of him but if he kept this up he’d soon realise how wet he was making you.

He began to scratch shapes onto the paper in front of him, the sound of the pencil lead against it a nice calming tone to the room. You tried to slow your breathing again so he didn’t notice how nervous he’d made you. Slow steady breaths.

“So ___ why do we shade?” he raised an eye brow for a second to fix eyes with you before his pencil went back to work on the paper.

You sighed, so now he really wanted to play teacher, “to capture shadows, contrast. To make an object on paper three dimensional.”

You were impressed with the response your brain had thought of in its current situation.

“Hmm but look how perfect you are though Princess. A perfect canvas...we'll have to continue this later” Kylo said advancing on you. He placed the piece on top of his desk, it’s front page flipped over so you couldn’t peek at it.

“Huh...Ky you're implying you're going to make me less perfect...” you fumbled timidly but his lips were on yours calming your nerves for the mere seconds it took him to walk you towards his bed.

Then he was gone from your grasp finding his way behind you before greedily pushing your torso onto the bed, your lower half unwillingly on display to him.

He gingerly stroked the insides of your thighs with his lips, his hot breathing on the skin there making you twitch. He moved further up his teeth grazing your bare skin, hoping to gods he wouldn’t give you love bites and make you moan, “look how wet I’ve made you ____” he groaned against your skin, before forcing a single digit inside.

You writhed against him, moaning at the suddenness, squeezing your eyes shut.

“I thought you didn’t want to be caught,” he whispered forcing another finger in to hit your sweet spot head on.

Your cries of pleasure were louder this time and he rebuked you further but his approach was less forgiving his free hand colliding with your left ass cheek as the sound ricocheted off the walls.

You couldn’t help but cringe away from him before protesting “Kylo that’s not fai-” but your comments were cut short by another hard spank to your ass. This time the stinging sensation sank in and despite the pain you only got more needy for release.

“Now are you going to be good and keep quiet or am I going to have to gag you?” he replied demanding an answer.

“If I stay quiet do you promise to keep quiet too?” you asked in feeble attempt to stay in charge.

He didn’t say anything only started a pace with the two fingers inside you. You’d half forgotten they were there but his way of making you remember where you stood in the situation he’d put you in had been near on impossible not to moan as quietly as you could manage into the material below you.

You’d like to think the sounds had gone unheard by him but then his pace quickened and you couldn’t keep up. The need for one of the three boys to make you cum a little too much since you'd let Ben get so close weeks ago.

You quickly found your arm for support in your quest to succeed sinking your teeth in to halt the moans. You were close now your brain teetering on the edge of reality as the knotted thorns around your stomach began to tighten unbearably close to snapping and unravelling until you were twitching from just the middle brother's fingers.

Your cunt was twitching around him and he knew you were close but he hadn’t taken kindly to your methods of keeping quiet, spell bent on his brothers hearing you scream his name.

You groaned turning your head from the covers so Kylo could hear your anger clearly, “Ky that’s really not fair!”

“Shouldn't have been cheating,” he said nonchalantly pushing his fingers into his mouth to taste them.

You’d sat up now shuddering as you watched him do it seductively.

“You said I had to be quiet. Not how I had to be quiet...” you protested.

He regarded you for a second before pushing you back down into submission, pulling both your wrists behind your back and holding onto them tightly, the action had been so sudden you hadn’t had time to object. He wrapped something around your wrists to bind them it felt cold and hard, like leather, he pulled it taut until your hands were suffocating from the sudden lack of personal space between them.

You’d been in relationships before that had lead to this sort of atmosphere but there was an air of darkness to the way Kylo had you positioned. You’d barely known him only weeks ago and you’d been as weak as to let yourself get to this point.

Kylo snapped your attention back to him as he kicked your legs apart, exposing you even further.

He had let go of your wrists now so he could, you assumed, take off his clothes. Having been so unfair, making you strip in front of him and then restricting you so you couldn’t help him with the process.

Time was painfully slow and your mind was trying to figure out how long he’d left you in that position without contact. You could feel your wetness against your inner thighs but were too afraid to rectify his actions and push your legs back together. You'd known he would have been quick to punish you. All sound had been void from your brain, your ears ringing as blood rushed through them, your head beginning to pound as fear crawled up all sides that Kylo may have just left you like that all night shuddering.

You wiggled your wrists to see if you could break free but he'd been relentless.

“How badly do you need it princess?” Kylo’s voice drew you back to reality, did he really expect you to beg?

You felt as he pushed the head of his cock against your folds teasingly slicking it with the cum already leaking out of you, you swallowed back a moan trying to wriggle onto him. He pushed a wet digit onto your clit and painfully eased it in circular motions, “are you going to ask for it?”

You doubted by now if you even kept quiet he couldn’t resist fucking you, his cock already so hard from bringing you to the edge.

“Please Kylo make me cum,” you writhed in a whisper.

You’d have expected him to complain that it hadn’t been enough but without warning his cock was stretching you to the hilt. He felt amazing, more so than Ben, but you didn't let your clouded judgement of that night take over your thoughts, he was certainly bigger and he was making you take every inch.

You shuddered loving the feeling of being so full, “let’s see how long you last before you break and scream my name huh Princess?” Kylo said in a gruff whisper pushing his chest flush against your back so it had been directed to you.

You suppressed a moan but it evoked a shudder as he started to pull back out of you, not all the way, before slamming in harder than before. He grabbed for your wrists to hold them in support as his pace became un-abating, pounding into your cervix. It was enough to make it throb from the beating, but the pain just added to the pleasure building in your stomach once more, knowing you’d have to make good of your self control so you didn't scream like he’d anticipated.

His moves on your clit became harsher and his other hand was now steadying himself again this time by holding onto your hip. His pace was chastising you now and you saw stars haze your vision holding off for as long as you could. You couldn’t concentrate on keeping quiet as well as holding off your orgasm it was all too much. Kylo lifted his fingers off your clit in an attempt to edge you further into euphoric bliss, but your senses had been too far gone. Somewhere between the cracks of your sanity and the desperate need for Kylo to fill you with his cum you’d screamed his name, only to be caught from shattering your surroundings by a hand.

You’d been quite sure it wasn’t yours but you were too far gone to care, the coil in your stomach snapped from the pressure and unravelled in waves of convulsing pleasure starting at your pussy where Kylo’s moves had become sloppy. The edge of his orgasm coming to him as your pussy continued to contract around his base tighter, he mumbled something inaudible and your whole world was full of obsidian. Shining deep black clouding your every judgement as Kylo came. It hitting your cervix and holding your orgasm much longer than you felt you’d ever been used to.

You felt your breathing speed back up your vision clearing, feeling like you were suffocating for air. You finally found the cause of the problem was Kylo’s hand, clasped tightly around your mouth where he had stopped your acclamation for him. You wanted to move it but your brain quickly remembered your were bound and so you wriggled uncomfortably in indication. Kylo pulled away his hand for you to breathe sufficiently and placed a kiss on your shoulder where his body had fell on top of yours after his own orgasm.

He quickly pulled your restraints off and you took the new found freedom to find a more comfortable position on the bed making plenty enough space for Kylo, however he was towering over the bed at the side of you offering out a hand, his cock still bopping proudly in your direct line of sight. You turned to look at his face blushing madly at how commanding he looked it filled you with a intrinsic need to obey.

Your eyes wandered over his bare chest for the first time and you were pleasantly surprised by what you saw. His chest was toned and muscular you could tell he went to the gym often, his biceps just as toned, then your eyes scanned down over his hips and the lines there, down past his quads: the muscles just as well defined as his chest. Kylo let out a playful laugh watching you study him, “like what you see pet?”

  
You snapped from your staring and turned a shade of pink, shying away behind your hair that had fell into your eyes, you nodded to him simply, following him to the bathroom, taking extra care not to fall over your previously discarded clothes. You could feel the sleep derivation wash over you, rubbing your eyes so they didn’t close, you’d not expected to be so spent after one session but it had been quite some time since you had, had release and in such a dominative manner too.

To your surprise Kylo had a bath in his room, that had a shower connected to the wall above it. It could easily fit you and him in together which was even more surprising as he was so tall. He'd positioned you against his chest, letting his arms fall to your sides to rest against your own. At some point, after he’d taken the time to massage you with soap, he’d entwined his fingers in yours under the warm water. The smells of something you imagined Kylo had put into the running water while you had been trying not to fall asleep against the door frame, were sending your brain even further into the depths of dreaming.

“Ky, hadn’t you been trying to teach me how to draw?” You said sleepily closing your eyes.

He was smiling at you from above not entirely sure if you were still conscious or lucid, “I was. I guess we will have to continue it some other time?”

You liked the thought, turning to him now to catch his lips in a slow and gentle kiss, that pulled you even further into sleep, you pulled back tucking yourself back into his chest like a jigsaw piece, he took the opportunity to reach around your front and grab both of your boobs in his hands, gently rubbing a thumb over your nipples. You let low appreciative moans roll off your tongue not seeming to care the two other brothers in the house would know by now.

“What was this Ky?” You asked a little nervously, but the question appeared like a good thing to ask in your brain at that moment.

There was a long pause and you body saw it as a window to start to shut down too tired to wait for an answer, Kylo’s arms fell from your chest into your lap he pushed the warm water up the sides of your thighs letting it cover you as a blanket.

“You can’t fall asleep in the bath princess,” he cooed which snapped you back to reality, he was right despite how relaxing it had felt.

You twisted to look him in the eye already forgotten about his lack of an answer, “can I sleep with you?”

The question was so innocent as if a child might have said it after waking up from having nightmares, but Kylo admired how kind you had been to him despite having put you in such a position on your first acquaintance in the bedroom, “of course.”

You smiled approvingly grabbing the soap from the side of the bath and squeezing a generous amount into your hands, you’d wanted this opportunity since you’d seen him naked and couldn’t pass it up. You rubbed the gel between your palms until bubbles began to form, Kylo’s eyes seeming to twinkle under the dim light as he watched you take the time to wash his chest. Paying attention to ever ridge of his muscles, running your fingers along the lines, across his shoulders and down his arms. He’d took it upon himself to flex every one somewhat subtly as you formed a path, you reached his lower abdomen and hesitated at his cock which was bobbing just above the water clearly having been aroused from your gesture. He took your hand in his pushing it against the base of his cock and smoothing it to the top, where you greedily took over the action, pulling back his foreskin to tease the most sensitive parts of his head with your thumb. He hummed his approval letting you take over, you’d have happily gone for round two if you hadn’t been so tired, but decided against starting it as you'd want to impress him for your first time being the one to pleasure him, if that might ever happen.

You finished up your journey and rinsed your hands under the water smiling at him so he knew you were ready, he couldn’t resist your sleepy innocence pulling you into his lap so he could kiss you. Slow and deliberate. Once he was satisfied he pushed himself from the tub and stepped out on the bath mat grabbing a towel, his hair was wet from the steam and his hand running through the curls to separate them sent your heart fluttering. You also stepped out of the bath receiving Kylo’s offer of a towel well, it was warm and fluffy and could cover you twice over. You wondered if his towel had been the same size as it just barely covered his body.

Once you had both been sufficiently dried you’d made your way over to his bed curling up under the duvet as quickly as you could, knowing full well sleep would prevail in moments. Kylo tucked his left arm under your head scooping you up with his right so you were as close to him as you could be and then you pulled his hands into your own against your chest, before the night faded to black.

 

Your brain pulled you from your dreams, groggy from the alcohol. You pulled a hand from underneath the duvet to tuck some hair behind your ear and rub the sleep from your eyes. You unwillingly opened your left eye, the light coming into the room from somewhere unfathomable at this point, stung the back of your skull and you were reluctant to keep it open.

The sudden urge to understand where you had been laying snapped you upright, the heat trapped inside the duvet flooded out and you were left with crisp Autumn air. In your haste, your right eye had also opened and you saw in front of you a navy blue wall.

A memory popped back into your mind – Kylo’s room. You turned to see him breathing silently and asleep despite your theatrics. You smiled, he was so handsome you thought.

You slipped the quilt underneath your body and crawled to the end of the bed desperate for a drink of water and the toilet. Your first delicate step into his beige fluffy carpet a welcoming warmth. Every step that followed had been an amalgamation of flooding memories: a leather belt, scattered pencils, Kylo’s clothes, the swivel chair at his desk adorned with frilly purple underwear, the notebook that lay atop – it’s pages still closed shut. Then you’d reached the bathroom, your stomach churning not so much from your slight hangover but more so from the events you had remembered had unfolded. When your toes touched the tiled floor a shiver took over your body, perhaps someone had walked over your grave as the saying goes, or perhaps – more likely a twang of guilt had struck your stomach.

You hurried your body to sit on top of the toilet emptying your bladder and realising quite how badly you had needed it. Your next move was to wash your hands and take a sip from under the tap, the cold liquid saviour to your headache even after a mere taste.

You wiped your lips with the back of your hand, eyes daring to flicker where he’d had you lay with him. Your brain hadn’t quite pieced together the events that had unfolded last night, they started somewhere with you asking to be taught how to sketch, losing your clothes in the process, being edged into oblivion by Kylo and screaming his-

Your brain stopped calculating remembering Kylo’s hand wrap itself around your lips, halting your words. The simple action made you wonder despite him not answering your call for ‘what this was' he had been kind enough to spare you the scrutiny of his brothers.

For how long?

You felt the action would only be condemned if you were to be found in his bedroom and despite your desperate need for sleep and the comfort of his arms you decided it best to find your ‘own’ room.

You tip-toed back through to where Kylo was stirring, probably from the lack of a warm body beside him, and pulled on your pants and bra. Brandishing yourself with Kylo’s shirt a sad and yet literal declaration of your shenanigans.

You quickly made it to the door hand twitching to turn the handle quietly to the side, giving an apologetic nod to Kylo who'd stirred to see you leave.

You closed the door behind you finally turning to face the hallway, you near on screamed as you saw Ben stroll from the bathroom towards you.

“Uhuh,” he said plainly as if your affair had been so very obvious to him.

“Sorry Ben you startled me, I wasn’t sure which room was the bathroom, I picked a door, Kylo was kind enough to let me use his,” you said averting your eyes from his, only to fall up on is naked chest. You swear they’d be the death of you.

You hid how it had turned you on pretty well, images of his cock pounding your cunt flooding into the creases of your brain.

“Okay”

“I...” Your mouth had wanted to speak but after the simple vowel your throat ran dry, trying to piece together a million excuses, you squirmed under his presence “I'm going back to sleep now.”

You had no doubt Kylo would be loving your torture right behind the door, your mind spiralling around the idea Ben hadn’t really meant okay, and on the contrary not believed you at all.

Your feet pushed past him your arm brushing against his in the narrow space, your heart stopped as your bedroom door came to sight. A beacon of protection from further scrutiny but as you shuffled through the jamb, Ben’s voice called out in a hushed whisper, “Matt put you to bed remember?” And he pointed to the bathroom sarcastically before slipping inside his own room.

You pulled the door shut behind you, and slid down it's surface until your bum hit the carpet, “What the fuck did he mean Matt put me to bed?” your mind was doing summersaults to understand what Ben had meant, but your body was still exhausted and you decided it was a thought better left for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm so sorry for the delayed update  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Like super delayed
> 
> I've unfortunately not had a great couple or months, I split up with my boyfriend and had to deal with lots of health issues. 
> 
> I spent a lot of time on this chapter, I only hope it was worth the wait. Thank you all for your support. 
> 
> Els x


	9. Busted

A good few extra hours had passed when you woke for the second time in the triplets house. This time had been less forgiving, your mind torturing you in your dreams, forcing you to believe everything you’d done since the day you’d met Ben had been the worst most cruel events in your life.

It wasn’t like that, last night was different. Sure: you would have to deal with the regret of letting Matt down gently, but Kylo hadn’t been such a terrible mistake.

Your mind flashed over the events of last night, your tired brain pushing that question from your lips ‘what is this?’ then Kylo’s lack of response as you lulled in and out of consciousness. A twinge of sadness passed over you, what had you anticipated? A happily ever after? You knew full well entering Kylo’s room had been a open offer for a one night stand. Your stomach churned aching for food, poisoned by alcohol.

You stood up wishing for something other than Kylo’s shirt to wear. Surely your clothes would be finished in the drier now. You slipped your phone into your bra and grabbed the door handle, pushing your body forward, still tired from the nights proceeds.

Your feet quickly made it down the staircase to the kitchen the smell of something cooking waking your senses a little more. You reached the kitchen door taking the knob in your hand, you twisted it and pulled, opening to a wave of smells.

The first to wash over you, was bacon. It’s smell not so welcoming as your stomach gurgled in an unsettled tone, soon after was the smell of coffee which piqued your interest, closely followed by the smell of burning toast. You looked for the culprit; Matt was stood with his back to you, your eyes then scanned the room further to find Ben and Kylo stuffing their faces with Matt’s efforts. To add to your suffering mind, both boys were sat shirtless, leaving only Matt to his decency though it wouldn’t have surprised you if this was a usual Saturday morning.

“Um...morning” You mumbled to no one in particular.

None of the boys answered your statement with much more than a dulled “hmm” from the action of eating. Matt turned around to catch a glimpse of you for the first time, having been engrossed in the pan spitting out fat as the bacon fried.

He seemed angry at you but you couldn’t tell why, as he nodded towards a glass of water on the side, next to it a box of dissolvable pain killers.

You smiled at him not needing words to proclaim your appreciation. You slipped past the half naked men at the table and grabbed the box, popping out the ten pence sized tablet and dropping it into the water. It immediately began to fizz into life, despite the inevitable foul taste it was, just looking at it was promising an end to your headache.

“He shouldn’t have let you drink that much,” Matt mumbled as he pushed the bacon back and forth in the pan.

“I'm a big girl Matty,” you sighed not wanting a lecture from your ‘friend’ who abandoned you.

Your eyes roamed to Kylo for the first time since you’d noticed his nakedness. Images swan across your vision of him holding you against his chest in the bath, coaxing you out of your funk. You smiled at him, but he didn’t return the favour, was he mad you hadn’t stayed with him all morning?

You turned back to Matt, “are my clothes down here?”

Matt looked you in the eyes, for the first time seeming to respect your words, perhaps the promise of ridding Kylo from your body appeased him, “in the drier,” however was all he managed.

“Thanks,” you said bending over to the side of him to open the door. You pulled the latch and it opened towards you, you grabbed the lot and held it against your chest, pushing yourself up. You spun around eyes glancing over the scene, all three boys ogling at your ass as you remember your distinct lack of trousers. Ben was the first to return his gaze back to his phone, followed by Matt concentrating back on the bacon and then Kylo turned back to eating after giving you a knowing glare.

Your stomach knotted at the thought, “I'm going to get dressed.”

“Might be a good idea, I can hear Matt’s heart beat from here,” Ben poked

You cleared your throat awkwardly and exited the room under the boys scrutiny, making it to the bottom step before hearing Matt protesting his innocence.

You ran up the rest of the steps to the bathroom and locked yourself in heart racing from the site of all 3 pairs of eyes watching your body like it was the sexiest thing they had seen.

On your return back to the room you think Matt had convinced Ben and Kylo to put a shirt on. You appreciated the gesture and sat opposite Ben at the table Kylo was at your left at the end, flicking through his phone not once looking at you. You felt sombre, not knowing what you'd done wrong to upset Kylo and Matt, whose indifferent attitude to you this morning was extremely out of the ordinary.

“Thanks for the clothes,” you said to break the silence, but Kylo really didn’t seem to want to acknowledge your existence now you were dressed.

You took your phone from your pocket and opened it, nothing of interest on there but a lot more satisfying to stare at.

“Is everything okay with you lot?” You said mindlessly flicking down your newsfeed, being reminded in the silence of your headache.

Matt was the first to accept your existence in the room since you’d gotten back down, placing the glass of painkillers you’d concocted earlier. You smiled at him in thanks, knowing the longer you stayed there the more silent you’d become.

You grabbed the glass in your fingers the water now room temperature, you tipped it into your mouth, taking as much as you could without having to suffer the taste.

When it was empty and you let your senses return to you, you saw Kylo and Ben had left you with Matt.

“Do you like bacon?” Matty asked in a somewhat cheery manner, but the underlying bitterness was still there.

“Yes...” You said trying to avoid eye contact.

“Want a bacon sandwich?”

“Please Matty,” you said waiting for him to drop the tension. He placed a plate in front of you, butter and sauces already on the table.

You grabbed a knife and aggressively spread the butter on the bread, not too thick, bacon was already plenty greasy enough. Your mind found itself wandering to how Kylo had let you come in for just a fuck, after caring for you all night. Then your mind was on Ben, how he’s caught you in the act, how he’d no doubt tell Matt, how he’d called you those horrible things. But then it was Matt, how he’d left you when you needed him, after he’d reassured you, you were his friend and that he’d be there.

You slammed the sauce you didn’t know you’d even grabbed onto the table, body shook with anger.

Matt’s hand gingerly moved to grab your hand in his, “____ I'm so sorry I wasn’t here when you needed me.”

You mind spun around to reality noticing Matty sat beside you, “I...” your breath was shaky as you held back your tears, “I really fucking needed you. You shouldn’t have let Kylo be the one-” you cut yourself off, the thoughts, the imagines of Kylo pinning you beneath him, making you strip, letting your stomach knot.

You pushed the bread cake back together and took a bite surprised at your ability to stomach it, you swallowed enjoying how well done he'd made it for you.

“I thought you’d be glad Kylo was here for you,” Matt asked as though he saw right through your deception.

“I was,” that much wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either, Kylo had been a blessing in more than one sense, it wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy the way he'd made you feel, how he’d edged you to-

You crossed your legs at the thought, needing to talk to him, ask him why he was acting as though nothing had happened.

“I mean it,” he reiterated, making you look at him, “what happened?”

“Did Kylo not tell you?” you said looking away, taking another bite of the sandwich to fill the silence.

“I want you to tell me: what happened,” he said more sternly.

You swallowed the food in your mouth, “Janet happened. You know what she’s like,” you said remembering the ordeal, he stayed quiet forcing you to continue, “She made a fool of me in front of the whole admin floor. I made a stupid mistake…and it wasn’t like I was just going to decline responsibility. She’s so. She treats me like a…a…child!”

Matt rested his hand on your thigh, even though it didn’t touch your skin, the action seemed to sting – your brain pushing forward that searing form of guilt. You moved from his touch instinctively regretting your actions last night.

“It’s my pet hate Matty that’s all,” you sighed, “like since I left school, I’ve always been the baby in the office, because I’ve grown up with them all. It’s why I found you so intriguing, you were like the only other person I cared to notice who was my age!”

You sighed again and let the silence fall, it being your window to finish up your sandwich.

He took a deep breath, seeming so much calmer than before, “don’t worry about Janet, we all have pet hates and we all have people we clash with…” he said before leaning a little closer and speaking a little quieter, “look at Kylo and Ben for start, they left the room together and I haven’t heard them argue yet, must be a record,” he said trying to coax you out of your funk.

“But that’s not it all Matty, you know she’s fucking Pete?” you said your choice of words seeming to register harshly in his mind, he didn’t seem to know what you were on about either, “well you know boss Pete?”

He nodded slightly, “I heard something about them being together.”

“Uh huh, well he took me into his office and said he’d put me through a disciplinary if I wasn’t careful. Best about it is John wasn’t there to stick up for me…when it happened I was shuck up and stressed, but after sleeping on it,” you paused but regretted your thought process in that moment, “I don’t actually give a shit if they fire me!”

“I know it still hurt though and I know I should have been the one who was there for you regardless,” his tone changed and he seemed hurt, “is that all you wanted to tell me?”

You played with the crumbs on your plate, wondering if it was worth just telling Matt about Kylo, letting bygones be bygones, but you didn’t think he’d forgive you so easily, “yes.”

The silence got thick and you waited for Matt to end it but after a minute of tension you had to break it, “thank you for breakfast Matty...” you unlocked your phone “and the dri...shit!”

Matt had stood up in your panic and started to put the plates away, “what’s wrong beautiful?”

Your panic stopped immediately when his voice cut through it you regarded him, he’d seemed so distant but that word he had meant, “it’s my car I was meant to pick it up in half an hour...”

“Calm down, I can drive you,” he said finishing up with clearing the table.

The thought of it made you a little nervous you hadn’t spent time alone with Matt since he'd kissed you. Thinking back to it now you'd forgotten it, perhaps your mind still hazy over Kylo, angry over how long Matt had left it, or how he hadn’t been there.

“___?” he uses your nickname to snap you from your daze.

“I can’t ask you to do that Matty,” you sighed hoping he’d take the bait.

“Don’t be daft it’s the least I can do, besides I'm the only one who is dressed” he gave a light chuckle and you felt more at ease, as if the longer you sank into his company the more Kylo faded.

“Well thank you, it’s not too far we shouldn’t be there too late. I'll go say bye to the boys,” you forced yourself to make it plural though your interest was only in Kylo’s response, why had he been so indifferent?

You made it to the living room to find them at opposite ends both engrossed in their phones, “umm I'm off so...”

Neither of them looked up, but Ben was first to speak, “okay” and then Kylo “yeah see you”.

“Well thanks for being there for me last night...” You tried to coax him out of his hostility but he wasn’t swayed and only shrugged as though you had been there for him more than he for you.

You left the room in defeat slipping your shoes on and grabbing your coat and bag

Matt opened you the door, “are they giving you a hard time?”

“It's fine,” you lied leading the way through the door.

Matt's car was a lot different to his brothers. It was a hatchback, in white and you could tell he’d spent more to have his interior covered in electric blue leather. You’d say perhaps it’s simplicity was a distinct opposite to his brothers habits with cars but it certainly wasn’t a need to over compensate for something, expect maybe their indecisive personality. So far at least Matty had apologised for abandoning you.

Once you were both safely in the car and he’d started the engine you gave him the postcode to your dealership, “I can’t say I’ve ever seen your car ___ but Ben says it could do with some work,” Matty jested to try and snap you out or your mood.

“Uh huh, I wouldn’t believe a word Ben tells you...” you said bitterly remembering how he’d been with you this morning.

The air hung silent for a while before Matt broke it again, “you’re going to have to talk him out of his funk...”

“I'm going to have to talk him out of It!? Me?” You asked disparaged by the way the conversation was headed, “he still hasn’t told you has he?” You said exasperated.

Matt just sighed easily as incensed by the situation.

As he rounded the corner you finally decided to tell him, “me and Ben were dating for three weeks, you know I really liked him Matt I did...but even though we’d barely spoke, I still liked you and I couldn’t tell if Ben was just lust,” you sighed.

“Matt you text me that night when we were...you know and I told Ben to stop...I wanted to explain. I wanted to tell him it was a mix of emotions but I said that you existed not by name but, I said there was someone else and Ben got really angry and he-”

“He didn’t hurt you did he?” Matt said slamming on the breaks at a set of lights. The action startled you, not only because you’d been so consumed by reliving the night with Ben that you’d forgotten he was actually driving you somewhere and sounding genuinely protective for once.

“-depends? He didn’t physically hurt me but when you call someone you barely know a whore...that...fucking hur...” you trailed off too afraid of crying, not just Ben but Kylo, why did you feel the need to fuck the brothers of the guy you’d actually really liked, liked for so long?

Matt put a hand on your knee and unlike before you accepted the comfort of it, thinking of whether to push your fingers into his, so you felt a little safer. As they twitched towards his he pulled away to grab the wheel again, but you were grateful mind plaguing you with thoughts of Kylo’s body against yours under his bedsheets.

“I didn’t know,” he admitted and you remembered what you had just been telling him.

“Yeah,” you sighed wishing he'd put his hand back in your lap.

Matt chose his next words carefully as if your new found comfort in him might be a good indicator for him to test the waters once more, “so how did you sleep last night?”

You tried not to physically wince away from his words as if they were to start poison straight into your blood, “well” you hoped the single word answer along with the well timeliness of it, would make him take the hint.

“Good,” his response was equally as succinct.

The tension rose in the car and you eyed the satnav built into his dash to see how much further you’d have to live through it.

“Ben says you couldn’t find the bathroom this morning, I hadn’t realised you’d be that drunk the night before when I’d told you.”

You slowed your breathing and eyed the garage not far from his car now, your brain trying to piece together what to say, sweat beading on your forehead as his car slowed down to take a left turn into the car park and driving into a spot.

“Um...I...what. Matt why are you acting so weird?” you stammered.

He halted the car and turned off the engine.

“___, just tell me,” he reasoned.

“Yes I was that drunk,” you said deadpan.

“___” Matt said again with more conviction this time.

You grabbed your bag off his car floor, “thanks for driving me Matt” you said irritated and then left his car slamming the door on your way out.

On reflection your snide remark may have been a little cheesy and the guilt in your stomach had grown too big for your body: you carried it on your back with reluctance.

There was little doubt in your mind now that Matt didn’t know about your late night fuck with Kylo, whether he’d heard Kylo’s punishments or Ben had told him, his severity to find out was making the guilt weigh you further.

You stopped on your trip inside wanting to turn back see if he was still watching, but you adjusted your bag strap and continued walking into the glass building. The promise of all eyes on you once you made it inside didn’t help.

You opened the door the handle cool in your sweaty palm, you slipped through the pane of glass and wiped your palm on your leg. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear I went on hiatus for a bit longer than anticipated.
> 
> Life Update  
> I am currently getting out of a quarter life crisis  
> I've passed all my AAT accounting exams! I'm now ElsBels MAAT   
> I turned 21  
> I had two animu tattoos   
> I dyed my hair pink for a month got bored cried and now I'm attempting to dye it back blonde 
> 
> Sorry for the delay it was never my intention but sometimes life throws a bunch of complicated, sad, exciting, scary shit at you! 
> 
> Here's a chapter for you patient peeps thanks for the love x 


	10. Stuck

I'm really sorry that happen to you while I'm away...

You sighed your eyes tired from the lack of sleep you’d had over the last few days, John had been keeping away from his computer and you’d managed to keep your eyes down low whenever Janet or Pete lingered their watchful glare over you.

You waited for the dots to stop and for him to continue writing: thrumming back and forth over their spot on the screen as if to mock your need to get home and try and fail to sleep.

You rubbed away the sting in your eyes checking the clock, if you waited any later than half four you were at risk of catching Matt in the lift. You imagined how ironic the thought was, a month ago and you’d be glad to be sharing the same breath as him, now he was a solidification of how screwed up your life was. 

Your mind flashed back to the day you’d called Kylo’s mobile, after finding his number on the universities website. The painfully long time it took him to answer and the conversation that followed those ominous bells:

_“Hello?”_

_“Hel-lo Kylo?”_

_“What do you want?” his voice had been irritated as soon as you’d fumbled those few words to him, "how did you get this number?"_

_“I just wanted to know how you were...and-”_

_He cut you off bluntly, painfully quick, “look ____ I get it. You want what happened Saturday to be more than it was. Just sex,” he confirmed it._

_In two words he confirmed how much you’d felt for him that night, the tone of his voice stung your heart, like a pin straight through the centre, “I need you to leave me alone. Ben doesn’t want anything to do with you either. So don’t you think for all our sakes you just leave Matt alone too?”_

_You hadn’t had the capacity to speak your mind. Your brain recovering for the sharp pain chipping its way through your ribcage._

_“What did I do wrong?” You whispered hating how your voice echoed through the line._

_He sighed heavily as though these weren’t the words he wanted to use, as though a gun had been pointed to his head, as though they were forced, “You picked the wrong brother...” and then he had hung up._

You'd cried a lot that night to Sarah, she'd rebuked you for it, saying if you’d only tell her where they lived so she could give them a piece of her mind.

Days had past and Matt had been sending you daily texts equally as admonished and accusing. He'd thankfully avoided you at work and you’d appreciated his lack of presence.

The dots stopped their rhythm and a new message appeared from John, You’ve worked really hard this week. You always do. While ever I work here your job is safe and you don’t have to worry about Pete. Speaking of which him and Janet left ages ago. Get yourself home and good luck with your exam tomorrow.

You smiled upon reading it, the first genuine one in a while and typed a reply, I appreciate your support John. Thanks for the luck I'll be off now. Enjoy the sun.

You checked your clock once more, you’d been day dreaming for a while it was quarter to five now, you cursed fumbling over your desk to switch everything off and grab things for tomorrow. Once you were satisfied you made a dart for the lift. Pressing the button wondering whether to just take the stairs, but you knew the thought was irrational you couldn’t run forever.

Besides the central glass stair case would just mean more eyes on you and since your run in with Janet and Pete you felt as though eyes followed you around the room. You let your eyes fall to the floor of the elevator and quietly pushed your feet in, there were two people in the corner and now you were too afraid to even look.

You shuffled to press the button but found it was already lit up, “___!” you recognised the voice and took in a deep breath, biting the bullet to see who was stood in the corner.

Bill was standing alongside of Matt, you’d regretted being so hopeful it had just been you, him and some random person in there, of course not. You let your eyes fall back to the floor, “sorry I was miles away...how are you?”

“I'm good but Matt here seems to be spoiling my fun, I'm meeting Karen tonight.” You’d not realised he was vacating the lift doors, holding them open as if to prolong your misery.

“Oh well have fun yeah, don’t do anything I wouldn’t an all that?” You smiled up at him satisfied Matt was no where near his side and thus no where near yours. You were debating whether to make an excuse of having left something at your desk, but the thought at this point seemed pathetic and you knew it. You couldn’t avoid your demons forever.

Matt scoffed at your comment and Bill eyed you up, protectiveness there. He could see your discomfort and gave you an apologetic smile, you reflected it and let him leave the doors, so they could close shut and imprison you inside.

You couldn’t tell how many floors had passed, blood rushing through your ears as if a defence mechanism to block out the silence. You were sure you’d nearly made it to the bottom when a piercing ringing sound ripped through the numbing in your ear drums. It took a second to realise it wasn’t just your imagination, when Matt’s body was pushed up against yours not quite realising how much closer he’d gotten.

You were sure you hadn’t experienced fear until right then, “what the fuck is happening?!” the walls seeming to get closer and closer together: claustrophobia taking over.

“My statement exactly,” Matt’s voice was resonating somewhere close by you, but you could no longer sense your surroundings.

You concentrated on your breathing, “did you do this!?”

“It was the only way to get you to fucking acknowledge me,” Matt said exasperated.

“For fuck sake Matt I fucking hate confided spaces at the best of times,” you said feeling a little more calmness in the fact Matt has pressed the emergency stop button and you’d not actually got five seconds to live before it plummeted into oblivion.

“Start talking then!” he stated beginning to pace in front of you, “why are you ignoring me, why are my brothers acting like you’re some kind of horrible bitch and why the fu-” his voice droned on in your skull, not having heard such a concession of curses ever leave Matt's mouth before.

“Talk to me!”

You couldn’t do it, between Kylo’s threats to stay away and Ben’s hatred for you, you saw little point in coming clean.

“___” his voice was no longer angry it was desperate and it drowned out the blaring siren in the death cube.

“Ugh you already know the answer, you already know what happened that night,” you pleaded not wanting to say.

“Say it,” he was seething with something you were afraid to call pain, how could you do it to him how could you just up and say it.

“It doesn’t matter, Kylo’s made it perfectly clear to me to stay away...” you sighed avoiding his eyes like the plague.

“What do you mean, Kylo’s made it clear to stay away?” Matt said taking on a new tone of curiosity.

“Just...”

“Just?” he asked crossing his arms.

“We...”

“___ say it”

“Me and Kylo. We...We fucked...”

“Shit,” he breathed.

You averted your eyes again, “look you weren’t there for me that night.”

“-oh? So you what? Go about fucking my brother in stead?” he said exasperated.

“No, it wasn’t like-”

“What then? What was it like?”

“Well... I'm not being funny but you fucking promised me a date and then you never asked, so yeah I went for Kylo...because he actually had the balls to do more than leave me hanging-”

His palm slammed the wall at the side of where you’d huddled into the corner, his angry breath hasty around you, as if the heat within him had make it boil and condense invisibly in the air.

“No...” his voice cracked as if saying it out loud would change the truth of your words.

“Yes! Except he told me it meant nothing and fucking told me to stay away,”

“Uhh”, was all he managed and then the lift went silent and your thoughts were supressed by the tone that was blaring out the speaker in it. You scanned the room for a camera hoping people weren’t watching you argue. There wasn’t but the news made you sad, as though it solidified your loneliness right then. It was getting too much the lack of an argument making you remember how the walls seemed to close in on you and suffocate your breath from your throat. Your legs gave in and you slid down to the floor so you could wrap yourself in a ball.

  
“It’s not all my fault you know Matty...”

“...how is it not? You think it’s okay to do what you have to me, do you know how that’s made me feel, you can’t just fuck both my brothers-”

“-why not? It's not like you made a move to me? Not like you answered my calls?”

“Well I didn’t know what to do, I'm not the brother that gets picked...”

You felt for him. Those words he had meant and it saddened you, “No excuse.”

“You could have asked me out you know!” he said and you were feeling okay to stand up once again.

“Yeah if you’d have answered my fucking calls!” you said angrily remembering how close he was to you, “you could have made a move...”

“...and you could have kept it in your-”

“-don’t you dare say it, not you. Matty not you too,” you said pleading to him with teary eyes.

“So what we act like none of this happened? Like we were never friends?”

“Matty...I wanted to tell you, but how could I do that to you? How could I split you further away from your brothers? Kylo might have used me but I never used him or Ben, if I was with them it’s because I saw a future with them. I can’t help what happened, but I can make sure you three are still friends because you’re-” Matt cut off your rambling pushing his lips against yours. You didn’t hesitate to take them, not for a second, letting it get passionate quickly. An angry, passionate lust, something you couldn’t say you’d seen in the golden haired triplet.

You broke away to talk, “Matt I can’t let you...do..” he started to kiss patterns down your jawline and then to the sweet spot below your ear, “...this...”

“Uh huh,” he cooed trailing further down to your collar bone and stopping, sure it was because he couldn’t go any further without taking your clothes off, but surprised to find it was only to suck a deep red bruise into the spot making you let out a moan that was washed away with the alarms.

You pushed him back chest rising and falling, “we can’t do this again...”

“What again,” he sighed feeling defeated.

“Me and Ben. Me and Kylo,” you wanted to say something along the lines of you didn’t want to be used for sex but using the word in front of Matt felt strange now.

“Let me take you out, please...”

“How can you say that after what I’ve done. How can you even trust me?” You slid back down to your seating position.

“Let me prove to you I'm not like my brothers? Hmm please ___,” he soothed dropping to his knees so he was level with you, forcing you to look in his eyes.

You didn’t answer his question in words in stead deciding to move towards his lips again, kissing them softly this time, before resting your head on his.

The doors to the lift were pulled open in that moment and you both flinched back from one another, “is everything alright in here?”

You cleared your throat grabbing Matty’s hand he’d offered to help you up, “sure I'm just claustrophobic...”

“Who pressed the emergency button?” You looked up to see a maintenance man slightly below you on the bottom floor of the building. The elevator raised about two feet from the man.

“That would be me, I assure you it was an accident,” Matty said stepping down from the device and helping you out.

“Okay...You sure picked a bad time to have an accident huh? Supposed to be going home in thirty,” the man sighed a little angry.

“Sorry...Mark isn’t it?” you said remembering his name from doing the payroll.

He nodded, “is there anything I can do to help or?”

“No Miss," a pause of contemplation and composure, "Hey I guess it’s okay. Accidents happen,” he said only seeming to notice your face now you were out.

You smiled at him in silence for a while, “gee are you okay you said your were claustrophobic where are my manners?” he stammered ringing his hands out in front of him like a teenage boy with a witless crush.

You giggled slightly replying “it's fine. I'm fine. I hope it won’t take too long to fix?”

Matt squirmed in the corner of your vision his hand itching to grab yours and make a show of it.

“Nope, considering I'm fixing it,” he said winking in the process. A bubble of butterflies squirmed in your stomach you regarding the feeling, the man if front of you was at least ten years older than you. Dark hair sticking haphazardly from his cap a rotund belly oozed out over his belt that was tight around his waist. No the butterflies were most certainly not from him they were from Matt’s dancing in the corner, having given in to politeness. He snatched your hand in his and pulled you to his side, gentle but urgent and then snaked his arm around your shoulders, “that’s good then...I apologise again. Let's get going hmm beautiful?”

You considered the action: his jealous tone, and revelled in it walking by the side of him like a prize possession.

“So tomorrow, we will go out...”

“Go out where?” You interjected as you reached the front door. He opened it for you and you thanked him still blushing from his previous actions.

“I'll pick you up at six. I have somewhere in mind...” He said raising his eyebrows as you turned around the corner to your cars.

Before you could escape onto the tarmac of the car park he pushed you against the wall of the building. Without hesitation you kissed him gently taking all your strength to pull away slowly.

“I know you can do better than leave me with that,” he said hungrily as you backed off the curb.

“Tomorrow then Matty,” you beamed at him walking to your car which was a little further away from the office building than Matt’s, “I'll text you my address” and with that you opened your car door.

You sunk into the seat and noticed you were breathing for the first time since he’d stopped the lift. You let your body catch up for a little while before you ignited the engine and set off for home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear look at this I'm updating 3 years later again. I do hope you can forgive me. I have every intention to write and then life gets in the way. However a week today I'll be in the air on a 9 hour trip to Orlando. I'm going to make a real effort to write and get this story finished. I appreciate all your patience and sweet comments which I'll be replying to shortly. I'd like to think things are getting better for me then life throws something else at me. My triplets get me through though and my kind readers, love you all x


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